Date: Thu, 13 Jan 2000 20:58:31 -0800 (PST) From: bobj@atlantic.net To: freebsd-gnats-submit@FreeBSD.org Subject: docs/16116: More Handbook typos and misc. observations. Message-ID: <20000114045831.AE5C214DCB@hub.freebsd.org>
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>Number: 16116 >Category: docs >Synopsis: More Handbook typos and misc. observations. >Confidential: no >Severity: non-critical >Priority: medium >Responsible: freebsd-doc >State: open >Quarter: >Keywords: >Date-Required: >Class: doc-bug >Submitter-Id: current-users >Arrival-Date: Thu Jan 13 21:00:01 PST 2000 >Closed-Date: >Last-Modified: >Originator: Bob Johnson >Release: www.freebsd.org as of 13 Jan. >Organization: >Environment: n/a >Description: Got started reading Chapter 2. Found a few typos and a bunch of largely stylistic things that I thought could be improved. URLs are the web pages on which the errors were found. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install.html "It can be installed through a variety of methods including anonymous FTP (assuming you have network connectivity), CDROM, floppy disk, tape, an MS-DOS partition, or even NFS." Doesn't explicitly explain that installation can be done via modem (newbies may not read that into "network connectivity"). I hate to make this sentence any longer, but how about something like: "It can be installed through a variety of methods including anonymous FTP (assuming you have Internet connectivity via modem or local network), CDROM, floppy disk, tape, an MS-DOS partition, or even NFS." Note I also changed "network" to "Internet". Someone who reads the entire installation procedure before starting won't be confused by this, anyway, so I'm probably being too picky here. same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install.html "If you plan on installing FreeBSD via anonymous FTP, the only thing you will need are the installation floppies." would sound better as "If you plan to install FreeBSD via anonymous FTP, the only thing you will need are the installation floppies." Changed "on installing" to "to install". This is starting to get into matters of author's style, so I won't worry if you don't change this. same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install.html "For more information on obtaining FreeBSD, see the Obtaining FreeBSD section of the Appendix." sounds better as "For more information about obtaining FreeBSD, see the Obtaining FreeBSD section of the Appendix." Changed "on obtaining" to "about obtaining". Again, this is getting a little picky, but I decided to mention it anyway. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html "If you find something missing, please let us know about it by sending email to the FreeBSD documentation project mailing list <freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org> " This sentence has no period at the end. I guess it belongs after the link. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html In subsection 2.2.1.3. Before installing from Floppies. "If you must install from floppy disk (which we suggest you do not do), either do unsupported hardware or simply because you insist on doing things the hard way,..." should be "If you must install from floppy disk (which we suggest you do not do), either due to unsupported hardware or simply because you insist on doing things the hard way,..." Changed "do" to "due to". same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html In subsection 2.2.1.4. Before Installing from MS-DOS. "To prepare for an installation from an MS-DOS partition, copy the files from the distribution into a directory named c:\FreeBSD." How about "To prepare for an installation from an MS-DOS partition, copy the files from the distribution into a directory named, for example, c:\FreeBSD." Added ", for example,". On older systems with multiple partitions, C: usually has the least free space. No point in implying that you must use the C: drive, even though this is clarified a little later. I know I'm being nit-picky again. same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html In subsection 2.2.1.5. Before Installing from QIC/SCSI Tape. Another picky thing that is largely a matter of style here: "Note: When going to do the installation, the tape must be in the drive before booting from the boot floppy." reads better as "Note: When starting the installation, the tape must be in the drive before booting from the boot floppy." Changed "going to do" to "starting". same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html In subsection 2.2.1.6. Before Installing over a Network. "Make sure that you have your service provider's information handy as you will need to know it fairly soon in the installation process." reads better as "Make sure that you have your service provider's information handy as you will need to know it fairly early in the installation process." Changed "soon" to "early". same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html "The data rate over the parallel port is much higher than what is typically possible over a serial line (up to 50k/sec), thus resulting in a quicker installation." I'd be more explicit, change "50k/sec" to "50kbytes/sec" or something similar. same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html "FreeBSD supports most common PC ethernet cards, a table of supported cards (and their required settings) is provided...". I think the comma after "ethernet cards" would do better as a semicolon. same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html "You will also need to know your IP address on the network, the netmask value for your address class, and the name of your machine." Should probably mention that the IP address can be dynamically- assigned if using ppp. same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html "FTP installation may be done from any FreeBSD mirror site containing a reasonably up-to-date version of FreeBSD 3.4." Do you mean to say "...version of FreeBSD.", without the version number? The reason for the version number isn't obvious to me. same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html In subsection 2.2.1.6.2. Before Installing via FTP. "For all FTP transfers, use ``Active'' mode. This will not work through firewalls, byt will often work with older FTP servers that do not support passive mode." "byt" should be "but". same page, i.e. http://www.freebsd.org/handbook/install-guide.html In subsection 2.2.2. Installing FreeBSD "It may take us a little while to reach that objective, but nonetheless, it is still our objective :-) " This sentence doesn't have a period, although I guess the emoticon counts as closing punctuation. 8-) >How-To-Repeat: Read the referenced web pages. >Fix: I'll leave that up to you. >Release-Note: >Audit-Trail: >Unformatted: To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-doc" in the body of the message
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