Date: Sat, 5 Oct 2002 12:01:28 +0930 From: Greg 'groggy' Lehey <grog@FreeBSD.org> To: Tom Rhodes <trhodes@FreeBSD.org> Cc: FreeBSD-doc@FreeBSD.org Subject: Re: Plea to the doc team Message-ID: <20021005023128.GG83766@wantadilla.lemis.com> In-Reply-To: <20021004221936.5b91d9b2.trhodes@FreeBSD.org> References: <20021004212757.2a7e3227.trhodes@FreeBSD.org> <20021005020608.GE83766@wantadilla.lemis.com> <20021004221936.5b91d9b2.trhodes@FreeBSD.org>
next in thread | previous in thread | raw e-mail | index | archive | help
On Friday, 4 October 2002 at 22:19:36 -0400, Tom Rhodes wrote:
> On Sat, 5 Oct 2002 11:36:08 +0930
> "Greg 'groggy' Lehey" <grog@FreeBSD.ORG> wrote:
>
>> On Friday, 4 October 2002 at 21:27:57 -0400, Tom Rhodes wrote:
>>> Fellow Doc committers and contributers,
>>>
>>> Its been said over and over the use of 'you' in technical docs looks
>>> bad.
>>
>> Many things have been said over and over. One should not believe all
>> statements. Overly terse and obfuscatory language is also
>> undesirable.
>
> Heavily undesirable.
>
>>> While I'm going to be at working cleaning up the doc tree of bad
>>> gammar (run-ons, incorrect use of semicolons, to many useless words
>>> and fragments) I'll try to kill the use of 'you'.
>>
>> You should check spelling and other punctuation too.
>
> I'm doin this, trust me. ;)
I was actually referring to one punctuation and two spelling errors in
your text above.
>>> My request is, if you remove the 'you' from documents you can cut
>>> down extremly on the amount you type, the amount a reader will
>>> read, and documentation size in general. This IMO is a good thing
>>> and will also cut down on grammar bogons.
>>
>> Style is more than verbosity or lack of same.
>>
>> I'm not heavily involved in the doc project, but I'm seeing too many
>> rule-based modifications. Yes, overuse of the second person can be
>> annoying, but it must bee seen in context. I'd rather see people
>> write documentation which is intelligible and useful rather than
>> documentation which merely adheres to certain rules.
>
> To be honest, we have several areas where its easier to read having
> less of:
> 'you must do this. now you must do that. after this has been
> done you can do this'
>
> could be reworded to:
>
> 'do this, then this, then
> this, and its finished'
In that case, it sounds fine. But I couldn't have guessed it based on
what you said above.
> The other day I read an area in our handbook which had alot of
> useless words and it was so long and dull. Much of our docs should
> be correct and on the mark. Not filled with 'padding' if you will.
Sure, there's a lot of room for improvement in the style in the book.
I'm just concerned that saying "don't use 'you'" is liable to start a
witch-hunt for that particular issue, rather than looking at the text
as a whole.
I'm reminded of this:
William Safire's Rules for Writers:
Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never
be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Verbs have to
agree with their subjects. Proofread carefully to see if you words
out. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal
of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. A writer must
not shift your point of view. And don't start a sentence with a
conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a
sentence with.) Don't overuse exclamation marks!! Place pronouns as
close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more
words, to their antecedents. Writing carefully, dangling participles
must be avoided. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a
linking verb is. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing
metaphors. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Everyone should
be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their
writing. Always pick on the correct idiom. The adverb always follows
the verb. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek
viable alternatives.
Greg
--
See complete headers for address and phone numbers
To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org
with "unsubscribe freebsd-doc" in the body of the message
Want to link to this message? Use this URL: <https://mail-archive.FreeBSD.org/cgi/mid.cgi?20021005023128.GG83766>