Date: Sun, 21 Oct 2001 13:19:37 -0400 From: Matthew Graybosch <matthew@starbreaker.net> To: freebsd-questions@freebsd.org Subject: Offtopic Humor: "If the Spaceballs ran Microsoft Windows..." Message-ID: <20011021131937.347caf8b.matthew@starbreaker.net>
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I know this is offtopic, but I figure that anybody who's seen the Mel Brooks film _Spaceballs_ might find this parody amusing. If you like it, pass it around freely -- just give me credit for it. [ Alarm blaring loudly ] President Skroob: "Where the Hell are we -- Paris?!" Computer's Voice: "Thank you for hitting ALT-F4. This computer will self-destruct in 3 minutes." Colonel Sandurz: "Abandon Ship! Abandon Ship! Close all shops in the mall. Close the zoo. Cancel the three-ring circus. Dump all RAID disks to tape! -- " Dark Helmet: "Give me that, you petty excuse for a sysadmin!" President Skroob: [grabs Dark Helmet] "Help me! You gotta help me. I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions; I'm a President!!" Sergeant: "Launch all escape pods as soon as they've been filled!!" [Col. Sandurz runs to an escape pod only to find it occupied by Kafka the Drummer. Kafka bops Sandurz, who stumbles backward as Kafka closes the pod and launches. He runs to another, which holds a pizza delivery man, who yells, "Pizza to go!" as he launches.] [Dark Helmet runs to a pod and is stopped by a bearded lady] Dark Helmet: "Hey! That's my escape pod. Who the Hell are you?" Bearded Lady: "*I'm* the bearded lady! Who're you, one of the *freaks*?!" [Knees Dark Helmet] Dark Helmet: [pounds on hatch as the Bearded Lady escapes.] "Come back here you fat bearded BITCH!" [A bear pads over to the last escape pod and climbs aboard.] President Skroob: [smoothes his clothes] "Well, gentlemen, there's one escape pod, and I'm the President. It's a good server; I think you should go down with it." [climbs into escape pod and tries to buckle the bears arms around his waist] "What the Hell's the matter with this seat belt?" [The bear snarls. Pres. Skroob looks behind him, sees the bear, and runs away. The bear waves goodbye and launches.] Computer's Voice: "This computer will self-destruct in 1 minute. This is your last chance to press the Cancellation Button." [All three run to the console and open the panel hiding the cancellation button. Dark Helmet punches the button, and a BSOD appears on the Console, reading "Cancellation Button has caused Fatal Exception 0E..." Col. Sandurz: "Fatal Exception?!" Dark Helmet: "Fuck! Even in Windows XP nothing works!" Computer's Voice: "This computer will self-destruct in 10 seconds. 9. 8. 6. --" Dark Helmet: "6?! What happened to 7?!!" Computer's Voice: "Just kidding! 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Have a nice day!" All three: [huddled together] "Thank you." KA-BOOM! -- Matthew Graybosch http://www.starbreaker.net "Sartre was mistaken: Hell is not other people. Hell is maintaining other people's code." To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-questions" in the body of the message
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