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Date:      Thu, 20 May 1999 17:25:57 -0700 (PDT)
From:      Julian Elischer <julian@whistle.com>
To:        hackers@freebsd.org
Subject:   Humour: Microsoft Announces Improved "Blue Screen of Death"
Message-ID:  <Pine.BSF.3.95.990520172429.22781C-100000@current1.whistle.com>

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Newswire 5/12/99

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 Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD

In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer
revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer resellers and
end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death
(abbreviated BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating
system crashes. 

The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys
done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked, "What do
you spend the most time doing on your computer?" A surprising number of
respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death". At 54 percent, it
was the top answer, beating the second place answer "Downloading
Pornography" by an easy 12 points. 

"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our
channel partners, and especially our customers." explained the excited
Ballmer to a room full of reporters. 

Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable
BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select
from a collection of "BSOD Themes", allowing them to instead have a Mauve
Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and multimedia
content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the
perfect conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to
Windows users. 

The Blue Screen of Death is by far the most recognized feature of the
Windows (tm) operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically
insisted on total control over its look-and-feel. This recent departure
from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop
itself as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD will
be configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product information
whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate with
Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on systems they ship. 

Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already
lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD. 

Balmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community. 
"This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much
faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux or
OpenBSD even have a BSOD, let alone a customizable one." 





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