From owner-freebsd-current@FreeBSD.ORG Sun Oct 17 12:05:49 2004 Return-Path: Delivered-To: freebsd-current@freebsd.org Received: from mx1.FreeBSD.org (mx1.freebsd.org [216.136.204.125]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id B145716A514 for ; Sun, 17 Oct 2004 12:05:49 +0000 (GMT) Received: from mail.dt.e-technik.uni-dortmund.de (krusty.dt.E-Technik.Uni-Dortmund.DE [129.217.163.1]) by mx1.FreeBSD.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 5A2A943D49 for ; Sun, 17 Oct 2004 12:05:32 +0000 (GMT) (envelope-from ma@dt.e-technik.uni-dortmund.de) Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1])874FE43BD6; Sun, 17 Oct 2004 14:05:31 +0200 (CEST) Received: from mail.dt.e-technik.uni-dortmund.de ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (krusty [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with LMTP id 27723-03-4; Sun, 17 Oct 2004 14:05:31 +0200 (CEST) Received: from m2a2.dyndns.org (p54854810.dip.t-dialin.net [84.133.72.16]) 3AAA043BC6; Sun, 17 Oct 2004 14:05:31 +0200 (CEST) Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by merlin.emma.line.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 17B5CD1C1C; Sun, 17 Oct 2004 14:05:30 +0200 (CEST) Received: from merlin.emma.line.org ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (m2a2.dyndns.org [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with LMTP id 31274-04-2; Sun, 17 Oct 2004 14:05:29 +0200 (CEST) Received: by merlin.emma.line.org (Postfix, from userid 500) id B2488CE9F8; Sun, 17 Oct 2004 14:05:29 +0200 (CEST) To: Marc Ramirez In-Reply-To: <200410162322.28821.marc.ramirez@bluecirclesoft.com> (Marc Ramirez's message of "Sat, 16 Oct 2004 23:22:24 -0400") References: <1097916792.1810.4.camel@kaiser.sig11.org> <200410161625.42502.marc.ramirez@bluecirclesoft.com> <200410161416.51163.dsyphers@u.washington.edu> <200410162322.28821.marc.ramirez@bluecirclesoft.com> From: Matthias Andree Date: Sun, 17 Oct 2004 14:05:29 +0200 Message-ID: User-Agent: Gnus/5.110003 (No Gnus v0.3) Emacs/21.3 (gnu/linux) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii X-Virus-Scanned: by amavisd-new at dt.e-technik.uni-dortmund.de cc: David Syphers cc: freebsd-current@freebsd.org cc: rionda@gufi.org Subject: Re: UPDATING readability X-BeenThere: freebsd-current@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.1 Precedence: list List-Id: Discussions about the use of FreeBSD-current List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Sun, 17 Oct 2004 12:05:50 -0000 Marc Ramirez writes: > There are a lot of words between the nominal subject, 'one' and the nominal > verb, 'has changed.' All these interspersers must be pushed, and if you're > not fluent, well, remember the 'five things in short-term memory' > rule. Fine so far, but... > Maybe the best way to write it is in press release style: ...that is too long for skilled people. I like Geoff's suggestion. Perhaps adding the reason in a second sentence would be helpful for the technically aware readers, and the guys who do not want to care about technical detail know what to do. (Plus it is still press-style, important information first, less important in subsequent paragraphs, where stripping off from the end of the documents still leaves it comprehensible). OK, in which shed is my bike? :) -- Matthias Andree Encrypted mail welcome: my GnuPG key ID is 0x052E7D95 (PGP/MIME preferred)