From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Tue Aug 30 14:41:20 2011 Return-Path: Delivered-To: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [IPv6:2001:4f8:fff6::34]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 1A37F1065674; Tue, 30 Aug 2011 14:41:20 +0000 (UTC) (envelope-from wblock@wonkity.com) Received: from wonkity.com (wonkity.com [67.158.26.137]) by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id C9D2F8FC1D; Tue, 30 Aug 2011 14:41:19 +0000 (UTC) Received: from wonkity.com (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by wonkity.com (8.14.5/8.14.5) with ESMTP id p7UEf9OZ047083; Tue, 30 Aug 2011 08:41:09 -0600 (MDT) (envelope-from wblock@wonkity.com) Received: from localhost (wblock@localhost) by wonkity.com (8.14.5/8.14.5/Submit) with ESMTP id p7UEf9ep047080; Tue, 30 Aug 2011 08:41:09 -0600 (MDT) (envelope-from wblock@wonkity.com) Date: Tue, 30 Aug 2011 08:41:09 -0600 (MDT) From: Warren Block To: Craig Rodrigues In-Reply-To: Message-ID: References: User-Agent: Alpine 2.00 (BSF 1167 2008-08-23) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII; format=flowed X-Greylist: Sender IP whitelisted, not delayed by milter-greylist-4.2.7 (wonkity.com [127.0.0.1]); Tue, 30 Aug 2011 08:41:09 -0600 (MDT) Cc: kan@freebsd.org, rmacklem@freebsd.org, freebsd-doc@freebsd.org, alfred@freebsd.org Subject: Re: PXE Booting with an NFS root file system X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.5 Precedence: list List-Id: Documentation project List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 30 Aug 2011 14:41:20 -0000 On Mon, 29 Aug 2011, Craig Rodrigues wrote: > http://people.freebsd.org/~rodrigc/doc/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/network-pxe-nfs.html > > and the patch is here: > > http://people.freebsd.org/~rodrigc/nfs-pxe.diff.txt > > > Can I get some feedback on this? Overall, looks quite good. A few minor suggestions: 31.8.1 "5. Enable inetd" Use &man.inetd.8; instead of plain "inetd". Might be needed for other commands, or at least the first mention of them. "11. Replace "myhost.mydomain.com" with the hostname" Use myhost.example.com, maybe also use it in the programlisting. "14. Customize the ${NFSROOTDIR} in a chroot environment by" Can be read three ways: 1. "Customize the ${NFSROOTDIR}-in-a-chroot-environment by" 2. "Customize the ${NFSROOTDIR}-in-a-chroot's environment by" 3. "Customize the ${NFSROOTDIR} by using a chroot environment" Some rearrangement of that sentence could help. Thanks!