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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 14:18:32 -0600
From: kelly@fsl.noaa.gov (Sean Kelly)
Message-Id: <9510052018.AA23469@emu.fsl.noaa.gov>
To: jehamby@lightside.com
Cc: jfieber@indiana.edu, doc@freebsd.org
In-Reply-To: <Pine.BSF.3.91.951005112134.766B-100000@localhost> (message from Jake Hamby on Thu, 5 Oct 1995 11:28:16 -0700 (PDT))
Subject: Re: Kernelconfig.sgml FINALLY FINISHED!
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Great document!  And 34K is nothing to laugh at.  That's hefty for our
project.  It's up there with the SCSI and porting documents.  And a
bit away from that mutant section on printing ... :-)

Anyway, here's some proofing comments ... feel free to ignore all of
these:


Line 30: try <em>not</em> instead of NOT.  Looks a bit cleaner.

Line 49, the note:  Although we don't have a formal ``note'' paragraph
type, I've tried to start one in the printing document by using

	<em/Note:/ If there ...

to introduce each note, which lives in its own paragraph.  You can
remove the parentheses this way, too.  Or just ignore this!

Line 66: use ``permission denied'' instead of "permission denied".

Line 75: use ``If you've built ...''

Line 91: Show it's really in the root directory with <tt>/kernel</tt>
and <tt>/kernel.old</tt>.

Line 160: You might want to make it clear that more users than
maxusers are allowed to log in; maxusers just sets various table
sizes.

Line 425: Some really inexperienced users might think that TERM is
something that needs to be set in the kernel config file.  Perhaps you
can make it clearer that it refers to the user's TERM environment
variable.

Line 562: I wouldn't put ijppp in <tt>...</tt> style type since it's
the name of the product and not what the user has to type to use it
(which is <tt>ppp</tt>).

Line 576: the ``as follows:'' is followed by a Note instead of by the
<descrip> list.  Maybe the note can go at the end of the list?

Line 697: Whoa!  I had no idea NetHack had audio! :-)

Line 753: Might want to mention the dmesg command.  Or not.

This is a super document.  It's got an excellent conversational style
and leads the user painlessly through what might otherwise be an
experience not unlike oral surgery.  You've clearly done your research
with putting this together, and the troubleshooting section you got
there is a nice touch missing from many computer docs.

Best wishes!

-- 
Sean Kelly
NOAA Forecast Systems Laboratory, Boulder Colorado USA

It's fascinating to think that all around us there's an invisible
world we can't even see. I'm speaking, of course, of the World of the
Invisible Scary Skeletons.  -- Jack Handey