From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Wed Dec 3 19:43:42 2008 Return-Path: Delivered-To: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [IPv6:2001:4f8:fff6::34]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id AFADF1065670 for ; Wed, 3 Dec 2008 19:43:42 +0000 (UTC) (envelope-from pali.gabor@googlemail.com) Received: from ey-out-2122.google.com (ey-out-2122.google.com [74.125.78.25]) by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 29BCE8FC16 for ; Wed, 3 Dec 2008 19:43:41 +0000 (UTC) (envelope-from pali.gabor@googlemail.com) Received: by ey-out-2122.google.com with SMTP id 6so1546745eyi.7 for ; Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:43:37 -0800 (PST) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=googlemail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:received:received:message-id:date:from :organization:user-agent:mime-version:to:cc:subject:references :in-reply-to:x-enigmail-version:content-type :content-transfer-encoding:sender; bh=nJLb7abRhXtQT9YkkpqcNWsrP4ltG0kS8tFdiKERQXM=; b=bKjAX+MxZPjnzGdT205WAp1YyUlsqwue34F/Cl60RTacDlj9nurVtr2q4DajM3+LGt QncwNX3kGAmVBqBjenQ1I5BttdwD0tzUPz92fNS/cYq0+YJDfd+OxGxc90V1agjoi3WD oTJQHXgfdcPG39i83yZRjT6hgWfWxroJN6iFw= DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=googlemail.com; s=gamma; h=message-id:date:from:organization:user-agent:mime-version:to:cc :subject:references:in-reply-to:x-enigmail-version:content-type :content-transfer-encoding:sender; b=Awrjbf6dq1gZTo/Hwh8K4DR64FarwziW5bMvxPdUoc3+XyK/fHLSCn6PecJu79q01Z +bz+QXYq43Hx5Pq3qCto9y5lcezbA4P0OH4tslYke7AaHD+bGmwiWTdUqOQZMhrIYObx s3qpuV8trEzNWH7J8q4fwnW6pACiDnFqvNG+0= Received: by 10.210.34.5 with SMTP id h5mr15746067ebh.133.1228333417615; Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:43:37 -0800 (PST) Received: from ?192.168.1.8? (oktnb24.inf.elte.hu [157.181.167.24]) by mx.google.com with ESMTPS id 7sm9008803eyb.54.2008.12.03.11.43.35 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=RC4-MD5); Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:43:36 -0800 (PST) Message-ID: <4936E15E.8000804@FreeBSD.org> Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:43:26 +0100 From: Gabor PALI Organization: The FreeBSD Project User-Agent: Thunderbird 2.0.0.17 (X11/20081023) MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Manolis Kiagias References: <493155ED.8020004@FreeBSD.org> <49316309.1050407@gmail.com> <49330A66.8040801@FreeBSD.org> <20081201091730.0ef555fa.trhodes@FreeBSD.org> <49359784.504@FreeBSD.org> <49359EA1.3080600@gmail.com> In-Reply-To: <49359EA1.3080600@gmail.com> X-Enigmail-Version: 0.95.7 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Sender: =?UTF-8?B?UMOBTEkgR8OhYm9yIErDoW5vcw==?= Cc: Tom Rhodes , freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org Subject: Re: RFR: A "Boot Time Splash Screens" Section to the Handbook X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.5 Precedence: list List-Id: Documentation project List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:43:42 -0000 Manolis Kiagias wrote: > I like the improvements too :) > If I were to make a few changes (at the edge of these being doc-bikesheds): Absolutely not, it IS suggested by the FDP Primer [1]: ``Avoid redundant phrases Try not to use redundant phrases. In particular, "the command", "the file", and "man command" are probably redundant.'' Hopefully, I will reach this section of the FDP Primer in the Hungarian translation soon :) Thanks for the comment! I fixed the parts in question, so you can proof-check the results here: (in HTML:) http://people.freebsd.org/~pgj/patches/2008/12/03/html/boot-blocks.html#BOOT-SPLASH (in unified diff format:) http://people.freebsd.org/~pgj/patches/2008/12/03/splash.screen.section.patch.diff Regards, :g [1] http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en/books/fdp-primer/writing-style.html