From owner-freebsd-doc Sun Jul 14 17:04:05 1996 Return-Path: owner-doc Received: (from root@localhost) by freefall.freebsd.org (8.7.5/8.7.3) id RAA14755 for doc-outgoing; Sun, 14 Jul 1996 17:04:05 -0700 (PDT) Received: from freenet.hamilton.on.ca (main.freenet.hamilton.on.ca [199.212.94.65]) by freefall.freebsd.org (8.7.5/8.7.3) with SMTP id RAA14499; Sun, 14 Jul 1996 17:02:32 -0700 (PDT) Received: from james.freenet.hamilton.on.ca (james.freenet.hamilton.on.ca [199.212.94.66]) by freenet.hamilton.on.ca (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id UAA11347; Sun, 14 Jul 1996 20:01:55 -0400 Received: (ac199@localhost) by james.freenet.hamilton.on.ca (8.6.12/8.6.12) id AAA11899; Sun, 14 Jul 1996 00:24:08 -0400 Date: Sun, 14 Jul 1996 00:24:08 -0400 (EDT) From: Tim Vanderhoek To: Tim Vanderhoek cc: "Jordan K. Hubbard" , doc@freebsd.org, www@freebsd.org Subject: Re: Anyone up for a little triage on http://www.freebsd.org/about.html? In-Reply-To: Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Sender: owner-doc@freebsd.org X-Loop: FreeBSD.org Precedence: bulk On Fri, 12 Jul 1996, Tim Vanderhoek wrote: > > The overall style of our current version isn't so bad so much as is > > the content - I don't think that trumpeting "PRE-EMPTIVE > > MULTITASKING!" is, for example, quite as effective as citing some more I was going to say one other thing, but it seems to have had slipped... If you do nothing else to the welcome.html file, change the first line after the heading "Availability" near the bottom. "You might expect to pay a considerable sum of money for all the performance and features of FreeBSD, but thanks..." It just screams "INFOMERCIAL" at me (things which generally don't rank too high in credability, it seems). Possibly, "While the perfomance and features of FreeBSD are worth a considerable amount, thanks to..." Which isn't incredibly better, but seems to be an improvement (from here, anyways). -- Outnumbered? Maybe. Outspoken? Never! tIM...HOEk