Date: Fri, 10 Jul 1998 18:34:52 -0500 (CDT) From: George <freebsd@mutsgo.kf7nn.com> To: questions@FreeBSD.ORG Subject: cool poetry Message-ID: <199807102334.SAA03475@mutsgo.kf7nn.com>
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SENDMAIL CONFIGURATION EXPLAINED
by
Michael Maxwell
O, ye of little faith, gather and learn of the art of sendmail
configuration. Ye shall embark upon a quest of danger, armed with
only a large spellbook. And the spellbook shall bear the color of
blue and the color of white and the color of black.
And it shall have the name of "sendmail" and it shall have been sent
out across the land by the great wizards: O'Reilly & Associates.
Ye shall discover a scroll. At first, the scroll will be blank and
empty. Your quest is to fill the scroll with magic spells that are
the secrets of the ancient masters at UCB.
Thou shalt spend day and night reading and learning the ancient,
forgotten runes of the daemon. And many long hours shall be spent
questioning the great Oracle of O'Reilly.
And as ye learn the mystic words, you may then begin to write in
the scroll thus:
R$+@$=W $@$1@$H zool@baal -> zool@hub_of_evil
R$=W!$+ $@$2@$H baal!zool -> zool@hub_of_evil
...and so on. Ye shall spend many long days and many long nights
composing this magic spell.
And after the many long days and many long nights, ye must then
conjure up the daemon himself: the daemon "sendmail". Ye must beg
his approval of your work. Ye will pray. An' ye will pray again.
And ye shall learn of its lineage: unix begat "init", father of "sh",
father of "rc", father of "sendmail"...
And if sendmail approves and is pleased, then all is good, and ye shall
go forth and email.
And if your spell angers the daemon, and he disapproves, then all your
emails from this day until eternity shall bounce and be cast forever
into the fires of the eternal bit-bucket.
And if your spell really *pisses off* the daemon, then ye shall be
spammed by all the great hosts of the ether and ye shall grow frail
and weak.
Go ye now upon your quest, but be warned! Many a strong man has become
insane and even violent, and this is not good. Because the daemon will
be displeased. And the Book of Unix speaks thus:
"And he shall rise up and he shall smite his enemies and blow them to
tiny bits..."
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
And remember that no man has been able to learn how to read all of the
runes since the great masters at UCB. Ye shall consider yourself
lucky if the daemon doesn't spew forth horrible things and make you
ill and insane.
May the Schwartz be with you!
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