From owner-freebsd-questions Sat Feb 21 16:11:40 1998 Return-Path: Received: (from majordom@localhost) by hub.freebsd.org (8.8.8/8.8.8) id QAA12746 for freebsd-questions-outgoing; Sat, 21 Feb 1998 16:11:40 -0800 (PST) (envelope-from owner-freebsd-questions@FreeBSD.ORG) Received: from darius.concentric.net (darius.concentric.net [207.155.184.79]) by hub.freebsd.org (8.8.8/8.8.8) with ESMTP id QAA12731 for ; Sat, 21 Feb 1998 16:11:31 -0800 (PST) (envelope-from mlduke@concentric.net) From: mlduke@concentric.net Received: from newman.concentric.net (newman.concentric.net [207.155.184.71]) by darius.concentric.net (8.8.8/(98/01/20 5.9)) id TAA22341; Sat, 21 Feb 1998 19:11:04 -0500 (EST) [1-800-745-2747 The Concentric Network] Received: from mlduke.concentric.net (ts002d19.mer-id.concentric.net [206.173.184.55]) by newman.concentric.net (8.8.8) id TAA20368; Sat, 21 Feb 1998 19:10:59 -0500 (EST) Date: Sat, 21 Feb 1998 16:15:20 -0900 (AKST) To: bob_bales@om.cv.hp.com, questions@FreeBSD.ORG, briefs@alaska.net, Barb&Eldon , Bob Tierney , Chris Kerr , Chris Coleman , Jay Nelson , Tim Hanson Subject: (Priceless--From Duke) Actual Happenings (fwd) Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Sender: owner-freebsd-questions@FreeBSD.ORG Precedence: bulk X-Loop: FreeBSD.ORG Enjoy. >Some Favorite Bizarre!-But-True Courtroom Gems from Headlines >Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association >Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked >of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, >the responses given by insightful witnesses: > >"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, >he doesn't know about it until the next morning?" > >"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?" > >"Were you present when your picture was taken?" > >Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check >for a pulse? >A: "No." >Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" >A: "No." >Q: "Did you check for breathing?" >A: "No." >Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you > began the autopsy?" >A: "No." >Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" >A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." >Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" >A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing > law somewhere." > >"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?" > >"Did he kill you?" > >"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?" > >"You were there until the time you left, is that true?" > >"How many times have you committed suicide?" > >Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?" >A: "Yes." >Q: "And what were you doing at that time?" > >Q: "She had three children, right?" >A: "Yes." >Q: "How many were boys?" >A: "None." >Q: "Were there any girls?" > >Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" >A: "Yes." >Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?" > >Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?" >A: "I went to Europe, Sir." >Q: "And you took your new wife?" > >Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?" >A: "By death." >Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?" > >Q: "Can you describe the individual?" >A: "He was about medium height and had a beard." >Q: "Was this a male, or a female?" > >Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to > a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?" >A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work." > >Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?" >A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people." > >Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?" >A: "Oral." > >Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" >A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.." >Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?" >A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an >autopsy." > >Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?" >A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel." > >Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?" >A: "I have been since early childhood." > > > > > Stories like these don't come along every day... > > > >------- >Doug > > > Please visit http://www.prospectorsbanqueclub.com and http://www.eagleflt.com To receive posts from this list send an E-MAIL to me with the word "subscribe" in the subject box. To be removed from this list send a post to me with the word "unsubscribe" in the subject box. ================================================================== EAGLEFLIGHT ///, /// \ /, / >. David E. Rydel \ /, _/ /. ***** \_ /_/ /. uNITED STATES Theatre Command \__/_ << Voice-248-391-0798 /<<<<<< \_\_ Fax-248-391-6785 /,)^>>_._ \ Alt.Fax-248-391-3528 (/ \\ /\\\ E-MAIL: EAGLEFLT@eagleflt.com // ```` ==============((`============================================= A VOICE OF THE MILITIA IN NORTH AMERICA To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-questions" in the body of the message