From owner-freebsd-chat Sat Dec 19 16:32:56 1998 Return-Path: Received: (from majordom@localhost) by hub.freebsd.org (8.8.8/8.8.8) id QAA10651 for freebsd-chat-outgoing; Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:32:56 -0800 (PST) (envelope-from owner-freebsd-chat@FreeBSD.ORG) Received: from lariat.lariat.org (lariat.lariat.org [206.100.185.2]) by hub.freebsd.org (8.8.8/8.8.8) with ESMTP id QAA10646 for ; Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:32:55 -0800 (PST) (envelope-from brett@lariat.org) Received: (from brett@localhost) by lariat.lariat.org (8.8.8/8.8.6) id RAA08736; Sat, 19 Dec 1998 17:32:51 -0700 (MST) Message-Id: <4.1.19981219173154.06b97f10@mail.lariat.org> X-Sender: brett@mail.lariat.org X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Pro Version 4.1 Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998 17:32:21 -0700 To: chat@FreeBSD.ORG From: Brett Glass Subject: This just in: Microsoft/Sears Merger Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Sender: owner-freebsd-chat@FreeBSD.ORG Precedence: bulk X-Loop: FreeBSD.org Microsoft, Sears Plan Merger REDMOND, WA -- A giant of the software industry is planning a merger with a giant of retailing. Microsoft Corporation (MSFT) has announced its intention to merge with Sears, Roebuck and Co. (S) effective in early 1999. "Our financial performance did not meet our earnings growth goal, and shareholder value did not increase," said Sears CEO Arthur C. Martinez in the company's 1997 corporate report. This disappointing trend continued into 1998, when Sears' total domestic store revenues for the four weeks ending November 28, 1998 were $2.61 billion. This was 4.5 percent below the four weeks ending November 29, 1997. This may have made Sears a tempting acquisition target for cash-rich Microsoft, which in 1998 surpassed General Electric to attain the largest market capitalization of any American company. "Imagine a Kenmore refrigerator that knows when you get low on milk and orders a fresh carton automatically," said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates. "We'll not only provide the Windows CE software for the refrigerator, but will also route consumers' food orders through our central ordering system in return for a small commission. We'll even be able to track what consumers eat and sell that information to health insurers so that they can rate customers' risk of cancer and heart disease more accurately." Gates also identified other possible fits for Microsoft technology within Sears' portfolio of brands. "Imagine a DieHard battery with a Windows microprocessor inside." When asked what purpose would be served by placing the car's computer inside the battery, Gates replied, "It's integration. We'd cut a deal with Ford so that you'd have to use our batteries, or your Explorer would not start." When asked to define the word "integration," however, Gates said that he could not recall its meaning. There may also have been other motives for the acquisition. "It's Sears' information resources that make this deal so valuable to Microsoft," said a Microsoft executive who declined to be named. "Millions of Americans shop at Sears and carry Sears credit cards. And every time a consumer makes a credit purchase at Sears, his or her signature is recorded digitally. We'll gain access to that database, too." Sears' aggressive telemarketing tactics and lack of responsiveness to consumers (the telephones at Sears stores are no longer answered by human beings but by a voice response system that cuts the caller off if a department's phone is busy) also mesh well with those of the software giant. Microsoft has recently released test versions of products that require users to supply personal information before they can use the software they have purchased, making them prime targets for direct marketing campaigns. Microsoft has also sought to dictate the appearance of computer makers' products despite vendors' efforts to customize their machines to promote flexibility, ease of use, and novel features. "Microsoft has the capital to acquire nearly anything," said Brett Glass, author of this completely bogus news item. "No, they're not REALLY acquiring Sears (as far as I know), but what if they did? What would happen if your Ford/Microsoft Explorer crashed, or your Microsoft/Kenmore refrigerator ordered 2 tons of bananas by mistake? Now THERE'S plenty of food for thought." [] To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-chat" in the body of the message