From owner-freebsd-doc Tue Feb 19 13:52:57 2002
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for FreeBSD is an advanced operating system for
> Intel ia32 compatible, DEC Alpha, and PC-98 architectures.
> - It is derived from BSD UNIX, the version of UNIX developed at
> + It is derived from BSD UNIX, the version of UNIX developed at
This is a whitespace change. Please don't mix whitespace and content
changes in the same diff. It makes it hard for translators, as well as
people who are actually trying to review your change.
> the University of California, Berkeley.
> It is developed and maintained by
> @@ -233,33 +233,36 @@
> platforms are in
> various stages of development. FreeBSD offers advanced networking, performance, security
> and compatibility
> features
> today which are still missing in other operating systems,
> even some of the best commercial ones. FreeBSD makes an ideal
> Internet or Intranet
> server. It provides robust network services under the heaviest
> loads and uses memory efficiently to maintain good response
> - times for thousands of simultaneous user processes. Visit our
> + time for thousands of simultaneous user processes. Visit our
> gallery for examples of
> - FreeBSD powered applications and services.Cutting edge features
> + FreeBSD has cutting edge features >
>
The original complaint was that the bullets on the front page were
missing parallel sentence structure. This change (taken in context)
doesn't help this problem...in fact, it makes it worse.
> Powerful Internet solutions
> +
> + Industrial strength Networking
> h2>
>
Please make capitalization consistent. Either write "Industrial
Strength Networking" or "Industrial strength networking". Is there
some reason you wanted to change the wording?
>
Run a huge variety of
> - applications
> + FreeBSD powered applications, servers, networks, and other serv
> ices.
The quality of FreeBSD combined with today's low-cost, > high-speed PC hardware makes FreeBSD a very economical > alternative to commercial UNIX workstations. It is well-suited > - for a great number of both desktop and server > - applications.
> - > + for a great number of both desktop and server > + applications. > + Imagine an entire developement environment s/developement/development/ My spelling isn't perfect either, but please use a spelling checker if you're going to submit a doc patch. > + right at your finger tips, with support for almost all of t s/finger tips/fingertips/ > he major > + programming languages!. > + Finish this sentence with an exclamation point or a period but not both, please. I'm generally of the opinion that exclamation points in technical writing look silly, but that's my personal opinion. Think "professional" here. But regardless of what you choose for ending punctuation, use one symbol only. >FreeBSD can be installed from a variety of media including Yes, it looks like I'm nitpicking. But if we as a project want to be taken seriously, we at least have to keep grammatical errors and misspellings out of our top-level Web page. This means *use* ispell, and *proofread* changes, before sending them in. To be honest, if I have the choice of working on a patch that needs to be fixed before applying and one that doesn't, I'll pick the latter almost any day. Thanks, Bruce. PS. Yes, it took me longer to write this message than it would have to fix the patch. I think of this as an investment which hopefully will pay off in future, high-quality PRs. To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-doc" in the body of the message