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Date: Sun, 1 Aug 2004 07:05:29 +0000
From: Murray Stokely <murray@FreeBSD.org>
To: Dmitry Morozovsky <marck@rinet.ru>
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Subject: Re: [patch] update for console-server article
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On Sat, Jul 31, 2004 at 04:21:49PM +0400, Dmitry Morozovsky wrote:
> I was working on translating console-server article for FreeBSD Russian
> Documentation Project and found that many parts of it are a bit stale.

Thanks.  I committed your patch with minor changes.  I will explain
some of the changes I made below.

>        <para>This document describes how you can use &os;, hardware and
> -        software that runs on &os; to set up a <quote>console server</quote>;
> +        software that runs on &os; to set up a <quote>console server</quote>:

This sentence is still awkward, so I just reworded it and broke it into
two sentences.

> +      <para>&os; has adequate support for modern Stallion cards since 4.4 release.
> +	If you are running &os; 4 from prior to this release, you will need

	   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I simplified this to something like 'If you are using an older version
of &os;.'

> -	  being used.  Download the port framework from <ulink
> -	    URL="conserver-port.tar.gz">here</ulink>, unpack it to create a
> -	  directory called <filename>conserver-port</filename>.  Change into
> -	  that directory and (as <username>root</username>) type:</para>
> +	  being used.  Use
> +	  <filename role="package">comms/conserver-com</filename> port.

The article 'the' should be before the package name here.  I reworded
this a bit.

> +      recommend you to use this version as much more appropriate for

					   ^^^^ added 'it is' here.

   - Murray