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Date: Sun, 21 Aug 2011 08:43:53 -0600 (MDT)
From: Warren Block <wblock@wonkity.com>
To: Benjamin Kaduk <kaduk@mit.edu>
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Cc: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org, freebsd-gnats-submit@freebsd.org
Subject: Re: docs/159897: [patch] improve HAST section of Handbook
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On Sat, 20 Aug 2011, Benjamin Kaduk wrote:

> On Thu, 18 Aug 2011, Warren Block wrote:
>
>> -	  <para>File system agnostic, thus allowing to use any file
>> +	  <para>File system agnostic, thus allowing use of any file
>
> I think "allowing the use" is better here.

"allowing any" might be even better.

>>       <para>Once the <acronym>HAST</acronym> framework is configured
>> 	properly, the final step is to make sure that
>> -	<acronym>HAST</acronym> is started during the system boot time
>> -	automatically.  The following line should be added to the
>> -	<filename>/etc/rc.conf</filename> file:</para>
>> +	<acronym>HAST</acronym> is started automatically during the system
>> +	boot.  This line is added to
>> +	<filename>/etc/rc.conf</filename>:</para>
>
> "This line is added" is a pretty unusual grammatical construct for what is 
> attempting to be conveyed.  "To do so, add this line to" I think says things 
> more clearly.

I would prefer the imperative "Add this line to...".

>> -	<para>In order to fix this situation the administrator has to
>> +	<para>The administrator must
>> 	  decide which node has more important changes (or merge them
>> -	  manually) and let the <acronym>HAST</acronym> perform
>> +	  manually) and let <acronym>HAST</acronym> perform
>> 	  the full synchronization of the node which has the broken
>
> Just "full synchronization", I think.

Changing "of" to "on" ("full synchronization on the node") also helps a 
bit.