From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Sun Feb 5 15:41:46 2012 Return-Path: Delivered-To: doc@FreeBSD.org Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [IPv6:2001:4f8:fff6::34]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 5C3E31065670; Sun, 5 Feb 2012 15:41:46 +0000 (UTC) (envelope-from wblock@wonkity.com) Received: from wonkity.com (wonkity.com [67.158.26.137]) by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 1B3A38FC08; Sun, 5 Feb 2012 15:41:45 +0000 (UTC) Received: from wonkity.com (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by wonkity.com (8.14.5/8.14.5) with ESMTP id q15FfjRZ067896; Sun, 5 Feb 2012 08:41:45 -0700 (MST) (envelope-from wblock@wonkity.com) Received: from localhost (wblock@localhost) by wonkity.com (8.14.5/8.14.5/Submit) with ESMTP id q15Ffjj0067893; Sun, 5 Feb 2012 08:41:45 -0700 (MST) (envelope-from wblock@wonkity.com) Date: Sun, 5 Feb 2012 08:41:45 -0700 (MST) From: Warren Block To: Daniel Gerzo In-Reply-To: <4F2E720E.4070009@FreeBSD.org> Message-ID: References: <20120131104953.GA55314@freefall.freebsd.org> <4F2E720E.4070009@FreeBSD.org> User-Agent: Alpine 2.00 (BSF 1167 2008-08-23) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII; format=flowed X-Greylist: Sender IP whitelisted, not delayed by milter-greylist-4.2.7 (wonkity.com [127.0.0.1]); Sun, 05 Feb 2012 08:41:45 -0700 (MST) Cc: doc@FreeBSD.org Subject: Re: New Handbook Section for Review - graid3 X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.5 Precedence: list List-Id: Documentation project List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Sun, 05 Feb 2012 15:41:46 -0000 On Sun, 5 Feb 2012, Daniel Gerzo wrote: > On 31.1.2012 21:58, Warren Block wrote: >> On Tue, 31 Jan 2012, Daniel Gerzo wrote: >> >>> A new Handbook section covering graid3 is now available for review; >>> the patch is attached. >>> >>> The text is based on PR 164228. A built version is available at >>> http://people.freebsd.org/~danger/geom-raid3.html. >>> >>> Comments are welcome. >> >> Patch with suggested changes attached. This is a full diff, not a diff >> to your diff. > > Hello Warren, thanks for the review. I have updated my diff and you guys can > find it here: > > http://people.freebsd.org/~danger/geom-dg.diff > http://people.freebsd.org/~danger/geom-raid3.html > > Any more comments? Just a few small ones. :) s/that get written/ that are written/ s/Also due to the nature of RAID3/ Due to the nature of RAID3/ (Or put a comma after "Also", but shorter is better. s/configuration has to be done in order to retain/ configuration is needed to retain/ s/across the system reboots/ across system reboots/ Consider "this line" and "these lines" to "the following line", but admittedly that's subjective. (It's usually obvious which line is being referred to, particularly when there's a colon.) The fstab example at the end would be easier to read with tabs between the fields. (Tabs show reliably and accurately in HTML and PDF output now.) Thanks!