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Date: Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:53:28 +0200
From: Giorgos Keramidas <keramida@ceid.upatras.gr>
To: gregoryd.freebsd@free.fr
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Cc: freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org
Subject: Re: docs/119463: [handbook] [patch] typo in printing/chapter.sgml
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On 2008-01-14 21:54, gregoryd.freebsd@free.fr wrote:
> Quoting keramida@FreeBSD.org:
> > -        <para>You should also specify the <literal>rw</literal> capability;
> > -          that tells <application>LPD</application> to open the printer in
> > -         read-write mode.</para>
> > +        <para>You should also specify the <literal>rw</literal> capability.
> > +         When this capability is present, <application>LPD</application>
> > +         opens the printer in read-write mode.</para>
> >
> > Does this look better?
>
> I guess we should avoid the repetition of "capability", though (the fdp-primer,
> "writing style" invites us to).
> What do you think of something like: " When present, it tells LPD to open the
> printer in r/w mode".
> My, I'm starting to feel like a fussy guy, now... :-\

"When present, it tells LPD to..." has two minor nits which I don't
really like a lot:

  * It lacks a subject for "present".  When "what" is present?
  * It uses "it" to refer to the non-existent subject.

I'm not sure if this rewrite is better, but I'm certainly open to more
suggestions.