From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG  Tue Jan 31 20:38:35 2012
Return-Path: <owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG>
Delivered-To: freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org
Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [IPv6:2001:4f8:fff6::34])
	by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 39443106566C
	for <freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org>; Tue, 31 Jan 2012 20:38:35 +0000 (UTC)
	(envelope-from bcr@FreeBSD.org)
Received: from mxout1.bln1.prohost.de (mxout1.bln1.prohost.de [213.160.84.47])
	by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id C10DA8FC0A
	for <freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org>; Tue, 31 Jan 2012 20:38:34 +0000 (UTC)
Received: from Benedicts-Macbook-Pro.local (p4FC72A72.dip.t-dialin.net
	[79.199.42.114]) (authenticated bits=0)
	by mx1.bln1.prohost.de (8.14.1/8.14.1) with ESMTP id q0VKcNb1009769
	(version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA bits=256 verify=NO)
	for <freebsd-doc@freebsd.org>; Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:38:24 +0100
Message-ID: <4F285145.9030505@FreeBSD.org>
Date: Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:38:29 +0100
From: Benedict Reuschling <bcr@FreeBSD.org>
Organization: The FreeBSD Project
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10.7;
	rv:9.0) Gecko/20111222 Thunderbird/9.0.1
MIME-Version: 1.0
To: freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org
References: <20120131104953.GA55314@freefall.freebsd.org>
In-Reply-To: <20120131104953.GA55314@freefall.freebsd.org>
X-Enigmail-Version: 1.3.5
OpenPGP: id=4A819348
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Null-Tag: 54fbe1e645df78a2aeb3719172cfed76
Cc: 
Subject: Re: New Handbook Section for Review - graid3
X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.5
Precedence: list
Reply-To: bcr@FreeBSD.org
List-Id: Documentation project <freebsd-doc.freebsd.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/listinfo/freebsd-doc>,
	<mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://lists.freebsd.org/pipermail/freebsd-doc>
List-Post: <mailto:freebsd-doc@freebsd.org>
List-Help: <mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/listinfo/freebsd-doc>,
	<mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 31 Jan 2012 20:38:35 -0000

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Am 31.01.12 11:49, schrieb Daniel Gerzo:
> Hello everybody,
> 
>   A new Handbook section covering graid3 is now available for review;
>   the patch is attached.
> 
>   The text is based on PR 164228. A built version is available at
>   http://people.freebsd.org/~danger/geom-raid3.html.
> 
>   Comments are welcome.
> 

Hello Daniel,

thanks for doing the work on this PR. I've reviewed the patch. Overall,
it looks good, but I would enhance the following section a bit:

+    <sect2>
+      <title>Creating Dedicated <acronym>RAID</acronym>3 Array</title>

I would write "Creating A Dedicated <acronym>RAID</acronym>3 Array"
since it is also mentioned in the text like this.

+      <note>
+	<para>While it is theoretically possible to boot from
+	  <acronym>RAID</acronym>3 array on &os;, such configuration
+	  is not common and is not advised.  As such, this section
+	  does not provide description of how to accomplish such
+	  configuration.</para>
+      </note>

How about reducing the "such" word count in the last sentence? How about
"... of how to accomplish this kind of configuration." or "... this type
of configuration." ?

Regards

Benedict Reuschling
FreeBSD Documentation Committer

The FreeBSD Documentation Project
FreeBSD German Documentation Project - https://doc.bsdgroup.de
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.8 (Darwin)
Comment: GPGTools - http://gpgtools.org
Comment: Using GnuPG with Mozilla - http://enigmail.mozdev.org/

iEYEARECAAYFAk8oUUUACgkQTSZQLkqBk0iWpACfaZMRtE7qd1KJUQqYdDxYlI8L
MIgAnRWT6Jx2DUz6EvzpkMOpQ3RYIHvU
=qPM7
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----