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Date:      Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:38:29 +0100
From:      Benedict Reuschling <bcr@FreeBSD.org>
To:        freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org
Subject:   Re: New Handbook Section for Review - graid3
Message-ID:  <4F285145.9030505@FreeBSD.org>
In-Reply-To: <20120131104953.GA55314@freefall.freebsd.org>
References:  <20120131104953.GA55314@freefall.freebsd.org>

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Am 31.01.12 11:49, schrieb Daniel Gerzo:
> Hello everybody,
> 
>   A new Handbook section covering graid3 is now available for review;
>   the patch is attached.
> 
>   The text is based on PR 164228. A built version is available at
>   http://people.freebsd.org/~danger/geom-raid3.html.
> 
>   Comments are welcome.
> 

Hello Daniel,

thanks for doing the work on this PR. I've reviewed the patch. Overall,
it looks good, but I would enhance the following section a bit:

+    <sect2>
+      <title>Creating Dedicated <acronym>RAID</acronym>3 Array</title>

I would write "Creating A Dedicated <acronym>RAID</acronym>3 Array"
since it is also mentioned in the text like this.

+      <note>
+	<para>While it is theoretically possible to boot from
+	  <acronym>RAID</acronym>3 array on &os;, such configuration
+	  is not common and is not advised.  As such, this section
+	  does not provide description of how to accomplish such
+	  configuration.</para>
+      </note>

How about reducing the "such" word count in the last sentence? How about
"... of how to accomplish this kind of configuration." or "... this type
of configuration." ?

Regards

Benedict Reuschling
FreeBSD Documentation Committer

The FreeBSD Documentation Project
FreeBSD German Documentation Project - https://doc.bsdgroup.de
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