From owner-freebsd-bugs  Thu May  7 15:03:03 1998
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Date: Thu, 7 May 1998 15:00:03 -0700 (PDT)
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To: freebsd-bugs@FreeBSD.ORG
From: Doug White <dwhite@gdi.uoregon.edu>
Subject: Re: misc/6537: New improved motd, take 2
Reply-To: Doug White <dwhite@gdi.uoregon.edu>
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The following reply was made to PR misc/6537; it has been noted by GNATS.

From: Doug White <dwhite@gdi.uoregon.edu>
To: Studded <Studded@san.rr.com>
Cc: freebsd-gnats-submit@FreeBSD.ORG
Subject: Re: misc/6537: New improved motd, take 2
Date: Thu, 7 May 1998 14:54:36 -0700 (PDT)

 On Thu, 7 May 1998, Studded wrote:
 
 Thanks for kicking this around, however my grammar-teacher instinct wants
 to bash this a bit ...
 
 >  Please see the Releases page at http://www.FreeBSD.ORG/releases/ for
 >  any security advisories or updated information regarding this release.
 
 This doesn't quite flow right, and it implies a one-or-the-other feeling.
 How about replacing `or' with `and':
 
   Please see the Releases page at http://www.FreeBSD.ORG/releases/ for
   any security advisories and updated information regarding this release. 
 
 Or try this simplification:
  
 Please see the Releases page at http://www.FreeBSD.ORG/releases/ for
 updated information regarding this release. 
 
 Is this too generic if I s/updated/important/?:
 
 Please see the Releases page at http://www.FreeBSD.ORG/releases/ for
 important information regarding this release.             
 
 Am I spending too much time on this? :-)
 
 >  If you require technical assistance:
 >   1. Please consult the releases page mentioned above.
        ^^^^^^
 I think Please is a little redundant here.  Just
 
     1. Consult the Errata section of the Releases page mentioned above.
 
 should be sufficient.  We're offering a list of suggestions, not imploring
 the user to do something, like we are at the top since we would really
 like them to check this page first-thing out-of-the-box.
 
 The change to #2 is fine.  I assume everyone is okay with dropping the
 sysinstall bit.
 
 Doug White                              | University of Oregon  
 Internet:  dwhite@resnet.uoregon.edu    | Residence Networking Assistant
 http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~dwhite    | Computer Science Major
 
 
 
 
 

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