Date: 01 Feb 2003 20:59:05 -0500 From: cosmo@cosmofox.com To: ports@FreeBSD.org Subject: Comedic book just released...a must read! Message-ID: <20021203020500.B4E4643EAF@mx1.FreeBSD.org>
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http://www.cosmofox.com About the Book: As online dating becomes more popular and widely practiced, few remember or are aware of the early days. Cosmo Fox takes you back to the early online dating days where profiles were vague and pictures were scarce. Dating online back in the early to mid ‘90s was about as predictable as a Tyson boxing match. You didn’t know what was going to happen when you showed up. Enclosed and bound in this book are twenty true tales that will leave you laughing hysterically. Every paragraph is chock full of fun filled excitement for the whole family. Cosmo gives tips on relationships and guides you through the pitfalls and hazards of blind dates and finding love on the Internet. Free Preview: Before I dive into this story let’s paint a scenario. You are a woman that is forty plus in age and you would like to date younger men. There is nothing wrong with this, stay young Miss Thing, work your magic. Shake it like it’s the thing to do. There is only one rule with this. You can’t trick younger men into trying to date you. Just be honest, put your real age on your profile and there are plenty of younger men out there who like older women and will see your profile and contact you. Putting down that you are thirty or younger so you can get into that profile search of thirty-nine and under just so you can squeeze yourself into young mens’ searches is wrong. Just put your real age and young men that like to date older women will track you down – trust me. I would also make this recommendation for older men but I know the old bastards wouldn’t listen to me. Rumplestiltsken, open up your little troll heart and mind to new ideas and reality. Women are more reasonable and if I explain it to them rationally, I know they will listen. Trying to convince an old man that he is over the hill and little Miss Hottie REALLY doesn’t want to have anything to do with him goes right through his left ear, hops over his pea brain and jumps right through the right ear. I am not even going to waste my time pimp daddy plaid pants. I know it happens constantly everyday and I’ve heard it a zillion times from women that I’ve dated from online. They all have stories of how some guy that was so old he sat behind Moses in the third grade, emailed them and wanted to take them out. I met a woman at a party and asked her to meet me for a first date at a coffee shop. I get to the coffee shop and there is a 79-year-old man ALL OVER this girl that I am meeting. I walk in, and literally he is right in the middle of inviting her (and he is very serious – you know how old people are, they are sincere about everything) to go and meet him on a nude beach in San Diego (Blacks Beach) and he wants to show her his "etchings." Huh??? Beat it Father Time! Before I call the retirement home and tell that beefy nurse that runs the place that you are violating curfew. I’m living in San Francisco. This woman emailed me and wanted to chat by phone right away. Could be a bad sign. So I give her my number and within three minutes of the conversation she is talking about what undergarments she is wearing. And she thought I wanted to know because? I agree to have dinner with her the next day at an Indian restaurant. I was on my guard because this is the first time I have ever talked to a woman and all she talked about was sex. Very unusual for a woman, a lot of men may just eat that up, but let me tell you, if a woman is talking a bunch of sex within the first five minutes of talking with her, beware. The restaurant is supposed to be the best Indian restaurant in the city. After I hang up, I check out the profile again ... ok, she’s 32, young professional, no picture (as usual) but he looks ok on paper. First, we agree to meet at Starbucks before we go to the Indian restaurant. She described herself as blonde and short. I see a blonde, short woman walk into Starbucks. She looks a little older than 32, but hey, people have told me that I look older than my age. Belinda introduces herself and we walk over to the Indian restaurant. The very first thing out of her mouth is "Ok, I need to tell you something." Remember, if you meet an online date, and the very first thing out their mouth is "I need to tell you something," stand up, politely excuse yourself, walk out the front door, get in your car and drive away quickly (screaming is optional). So, me being dumb and naïve, I say, "What?" She says, "I put in my profile that I was 32, but ACTUALLY I am 42." HTTP://COSMOFOX.COM If you wish to be unsubscribed, email remove@cosmofox.com with REMOVE in the subject line To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-ports" in the body of the message
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