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Date:      Fri, 5 Jun 1998 12:19:21 -0700 (PDT)
From:      simon mendoza <simon_v_mendoza@yahoo.com>
To:        newbies@FreeBSD.ORG
Subject:   Some kind of language
Message-ID:  <19980605191921.4636.rocketmail@send1b.yahoomail.com>

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This came up from a friend and I want to share it with all of
you...Greetings and enjoy.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

"Yes" = No
 "No" = Yes
 "Maybe" = No
 "I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
 'We need" = I want
 "It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
 "Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
 "We need to talk" = I need to complain.
 "Sure go ahead" = I don't want you to.
 "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
 "You're so manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
 "You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?

 "Be romantic, turn out the lights "= I have flabby thighs.
 "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
 "I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and
wallpaper.....

 "Hang the picture there" = NO, I mean hang it there!
 "I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.
 "Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
 "How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not
 going to like.
 "I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
 on TV.
 "Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
 "You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me.
 "Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead.]
  "Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until
 he falls asleep.
"I'm not yelling!" = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is
 Important.
"The same old thing" = Nothing
"Nothing" = Everything
"Everything" = My PMS is acting up.
"Nothing, really" = It's just that you're such an asshole.
"Put me on your list"= I think your cute

 MENīS ENGLISH:

 "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
 "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
 "I'm tired" = I'm tired.
 "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
 you.
 "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
 you.
 "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
 "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
 "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
 "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
 "What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about
 this.
 "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma
 are you going through now?
 "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
 "I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
 "I love you." = Let's have sex now.
 "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
 "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
 "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that

 much different!
 "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a
 deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
 "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
 with other guys.
 "I like that one better."(while shopping)   = Pick any freakin' dress
 and let's go home!
 "I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together."  = I am
 gay.








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