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Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 23:18:41 +0100
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From: Torfinn Ingolfsen <tingox@gmail.com>
To: FreeBSD Ports ML <freebsd-ports@freebsd.org>
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Subject: Re: xfce4.8 icons/menus/panel
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On Fri, Mar 4, 2011 at 11:14 PM, Aryeh Friedman
<aryeh.friedman@gmail.com> wrote:
> you copy it $HOME/.xsession or $HOME/.xinitrc depending if you start
> from xdm or command line

If you read the startxfce4 script, you will find out that it will use
$HOME/.config/xfce4/xinitrc, if that one exists. Like this:
root@kg-v7# ps ax | grep xinit
46596  v1  S+     0:00.00 xinit /home/tingo/.config/xfce4//xinitrc
46600  v1  S      0:00.00 sh /home/tingo/.config/xfce4//xinitrc
46647   0  S+     0:00.00 grep xinit
root@kg-v7#

HTH
-- 
Regards,
Torfinn Ingolfsen