From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Mon Dec 24 23:20:26 2012 Return-Path: Delivered-To: doc@freebsd.org Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [69.147.83.52]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 3E7A72CC for ; Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:20:26 +0000 (UTC) (envelope-from bounce+doc=freebsd.org@am.shagaholic.com) Received: from me2.am.hwtool.net (me2.am.hwtool.net [78.140.186.225]) by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 4CCAE8FC0A for ; Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:20:25 +0000 (UTC) Received: from localhost.localdomain (localhost.localdomain [127.0.0.1]) by me2.am.hwtool.net (Postfix) with QMQP id 3869C161FA7 for ; Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:20:23 +0000 (UTC) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha1; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=shagaholic.com; s=am; t=1356391223; bh=UGIDKJKA8Jf6Tvr3Bf/iBNKhU5k=; h=MIME-Version:List-Unsubscribe:List-Id:From:Reply-To:Subject: Content-Type:Message-ID:Date:To; b=P6v8GgT5DTEM2cLt7z/8i3vVKKAdmdf8w6OqnUWqsMKQY+flz8ZU01nLAyJ3LhBNj kLSPxivTJpyl++B7j59idsCKBSbsnnww0iScvrMXHAugILOPDJX6BSCeRexVhLbc3w Norb4tQsH2GGN3SpH9AWnybFTdUY8nT8my9g3Tz0= MIME-Version: 1.0 Organization: Alcuda X-Priority: 3 X-Mailer: Alcuda X-Campaign-Id: 090000001929 X-Dating: f4561f3594a4a83937b5ffa8e74d4965ZG9jQGZyZWVic2Qub3Jn From: Shagaholic Subject: OzzyRebdowt Somebody has left you mail Message-ID: <090000001929.mfk65y.ms9t1b@shagaholic.com> Date: Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:20:22 +0000 To: doc@freebsd.org Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable X-Content-Filtered-By: Mailman/MimeDel 2.1.14 X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.14 Precedence: list Reply-To: membersrepliesshagaholic.com@me2.am.hwtool.net List-Id: Documentation project List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:20:26 -0000 ShagaholicThis email has been sent to you as part of your Shagaholic member= ship.Please add admin@shagaholic.com to your contacts list, or mark as safe= to make sure you receive our emails.To unsubscribe or change your email pr= eferences click here .Hi OzzyRebdowt,You have received a new email from mul= li_oi1 ! http://www.shagaholic.com/static/generated/crmCheck your email and= reply now! 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Best Regards, Stephani= e Foster , Customer Service Representative Your screenname: OzzyRebdowt You= r password: X6dky0VMManage your email settings here.If you don't want to ge= t this kind of email anymore, click here .We'd hate to see you go, but if y= ou want to unsubscribe to all our emails, you can do that here .(c) 2012 Al= cuda (Shagaholic), Office 22, 6 Tassou Papadopoulou, Nicosia, 2373 =D0=A1yp= rus From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Tue Dec 25 00:20:44 2012 Return-Path: Delivered-To: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [69.147.83.52]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 257D5C3E for ; Tue, 25 Dec 2012 00:20:44 +0000 (UTC) (envelope-from freebsd@chthonixia.net) Received: from www5.pairlite.com (www5.pairlite.com [64.130.10.15]) by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id EF2238FC14 for ; Tue, 25 Dec 2012 00:20:43 +0000 (UTC) Received: from whisperer.chthonixia.net (unknown [184.152.30.105]) by www5.pairlite.com (Postfix) with ESMTPSA id 50AC02E2D3 for ; Mon, 24 Dec 2012 19:12:46 -0500 (EST) Date: Mon, 24 Dec 2012 19:13:55 -0500 From: Joe Altman To: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Subject: Re: confusing sentence in hardware notes boilerplate Message-ID: <20121225001355.GC16584@whisperer.chthonixia.net> References: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Disposition: inline In-Reply-To: User-Agent: Mutt/1.5.21 (2010-09-15) X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.14 Precedence: list List-Id: Documentation project List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 25 Dec 2012 00:20:44 -0000 On Mon, Dec 24, 2012 at 10:08:11PM +0000, Benjamin Kaduk wrote: > I was going over the various release notes documents to do some editing, > and spent entirely too much time trying to understand a sentence at the > top of the hardware notes, which has been there since r172098 by bmah in > 2007. I think that adding a word per below helps the readability, but I > am no longer an impartial reader (having read the sentence too much). > Thoughts? I try to refrain from using the same word more than once, when they are in proximity. To me, adding "supported" as you propose is such. Additionally, the phrase "...known working instances..." seems to re-state the word "supported". OTOH, it could be written: This document lists the supported hardware platforms and devices such as storage controllers, network interfaces, and so on, for &os; &release.current;. ISTM that "...hardware compatibility...", "...hardware platforms supported..." and "...known working instances..." are different ways of saying one thing. So just say it once at the beginning of the sentence. > -Ben > > Index: article.xml > =================================================================== > --- article.xml (revision 244663) > +++ article.xml (working copy) > @@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ g> This document contains the hardware compatibility notes for > &os; &release.current;. It lists the hardware platforms > supported by &os;, as well as the various types of hardware > - devices (storage controllers, network interfaces, and so on), > + devices supported (storage controllers, network interfaces, and so on), > along with known working instances of these devices. >