From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Thu Aug 14 15:48:41 2014 Return-Path: Delivered-To: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [8.8.178.115]) (using TLSv1 with cipher ADH-AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 475BE7D5 for ; Thu, 14 Aug 2014 15:48:41 +0000 (UTC) Received: from dmz-mailsec-scanner-8.mit.edu (dmz-mailsec-scanner-8.mit.edu [18.7.68.37]) (using TLSv1 with cipher DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (Client did not present a certificate) by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTPS id DEA862768 for ; Thu, 14 Aug 2014 15:48:40 +0000 (UTC) X-AuditID: 12074425-f79766d000006da8-2d-53ecd924c945 Received: from mailhub-auth-4.mit.edu ( [18.7.62.39]) (using TLS with cipher AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (Client did not present a certificate) by dmz-mailsec-scanner-8.mit.edu (Symantec Messaging Gateway) with SMTP id 5C.55.28072.429DCE35; Thu, 14 Aug 2014 11:43:32 -0400 (EDT) Received: from outgoing.mit.edu (outgoing-auth-1.mit.edu [18.9.28.11]) by mailhub-auth-4.mit.edu (8.13.8/8.9.2) with ESMTP id s7EFhVJU007505; Thu, 14 Aug 2014 11:43:32 -0400 Received: from multics.mit.edu (system-low-sipb.mit.edu [18.187.2.37]) (authenticated bits=56) (User authenticated as kaduk@ATHENA.MIT.EDU) by outgoing.mit.edu (8.13.8/8.12.4) with ESMTP id s7EFhTM8001317 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA bits=256 verify=NOT); Thu, 14 Aug 2014 11:43:31 -0400 Received: (from kaduk@localhost) by multics.mit.edu (8.12.9.20060308) id s7EFhTo2013180; Thu, 14 Aug 2014 11:43:29 -0400 (EDT) Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 11:43:29 -0400 (EDT) From: Benjamin Kaduk To: Warren Block Subject: Re: /etc/motd update In-Reply-To: Message-ID: References: User-Agent: Alpine 1.10 (GSO 962 2008-03-14) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII X-Brightmail-Tracker: H4sIAAAAAAAAA+NgFnrDIsWRmVeSWpSXmKPExsUixG6nrqty802wwYp32hanznSxWvw65eHA 5DHj03wWjyMdjxgDmKK4bFJSczLLUov07RK4Mg7Mns9WsI+j4s7238wNjF/Yuhg5OSQETCQm 35/ECmGLSVy4tx4ozsUhJDCbSeLf71/MEM5GRokPO0+yQjiHmCSWtR2GchoYJWY/ncEM0s8i oC1xf84UsFlsAioSM99sBJrFwSEioCqx94w1SJhZQFqiYf1mJhBbWEBWYtLRdrAzOAVsJQ4c msECYvMKOEr0P9oNNlJIwEbi+I0vYHFRAR2J1funQNUISpyc+YQFYqaWxPLp21gmMArOQpKa hSS1gJFpFaNsSm6Vbm5iZk5xarJucXJiXl5qka6FXm5miV5qSukmRnCguqjuYJxwSOkQowAH oxIPr8bWN8FCrIllxZW5hxglOZiURHn1LgGF+JLyUyozEosz4otKc1KLDzFKcDArifBO3w2U 401JrKxKLcqHSUlzsCiJ8761tgoWEkhPLEnNTk0tSC2CycpwcChJ8JrfAGoULEpNT61Iy8wp QUgzcXCCDOcBGq4FUsNbXJCYW5yZDpE/xagoJc6bdB0oIQCSyCjNg+uFJZJXjOJArwjzMoC0 8wCTEFz3K6DBTECDN7u+AhlckoiQkmpg9J7yPOevuPIj1SK2WwGe92/uUfkbHLJv94tpc/lu Tu1/nbVyzbWvkczBEyYK2UpInFi4xuoFz6Y/kZOd2y//NhWTl7nOnGZ4t2hSeaxkeNeV+TPP 5+zePfevX96lI8+na++/urip48WtT8l1RWv5pazWvb0ReK8lf72o1tIW6ctSO3dGPD5UeV6J pTgj0VCLuag4EQDLN3oR/wIAAA== Cc: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.18-1 Precedence: list List-Id: Documentation project List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 15:48:41 -0000 On Wed, 13 Aug 2014, Warren Block wrote: > The existing /etc/motd breaks many of our document rules and has some weird > language constructs. The current version in HEAD: > http://svnweb.freebsd.org/base/head/etc/motd?view=co > > Here is a rewrite. URLs are now the only thing on a line, instead of inline > and hard to locate. No contractions are used. Odd phrases are rephrased: > > Here is the proposed new version and a diff: > http://www.wonkity.com/~wblock/motd/motd > http://www.wonkity.com/~wblock/motd/motd.diff I think that "Before seeking technical support, please use these resources" remains an awkward phrase. The intent is to have the user attempt to help themself before resorting to flailing and asking for help on the internet, but not all of the listed resources are relevant for any particular situation, and in some sense they *are* providing technical support. We may just want to note that "The following resources are available to learn about the system", or something of a similar phrasing. The other changes seem okay. -Ben