From owner-freebsd-newbies Fri Oct 15 13:28:50 1999 Delivered-To: freebsd-newbies@freebsd.org Received: from mailhost.visualedge.com (visualedge.com [207.139.24.70]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with SMTP id 2715314BC8 for ; Fri, 15 Oct 1999 13:28:43 -0700 (PDT) (envelope-from martinm@visualedge.com) Received: from pony by vedge with SMTP (8.6.11/) id QAA11105; Fri, 15 Oct 1999 16:25:54 -0400 Message-ID: <003301bf174c$0812b3e0$a600a8c0@visualedge.com> From: "Martin Mactaggart" To: Subject: Real (macho-type) men (apropos 'The complete FreeBSD') Date: Fri, 15 Oct 1999 16:29:49 -0400 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_002F_01BF172A.804B5870" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2014.211 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2014.211 Sender: owner-freebsd-newbies@FreeBSD.ORG Precedence: bulk X-Loop: FreeBSD.org This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_002F_01BF172A.804B5870 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_001_0030_01BF172A.804B5870" ------=_NextPart_001_0030_01BF172A.804B5870 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Real men don't need or read instructions. Why do you think they call them 'man' pages? ------=_NextPart_001_0030_01BF172A.804B5870 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Real men don't need = or read=20 instructions.

Why do you think = they call them=20 'man' pages?

------=_NextPart_001_0030_01BF172A.804B5870-- ------=_NextPart_000_002F_01BF172A.804B5870 Content-Type: text/plain; name="PoliticallyCorrectUNIX.txt" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="PoliticallyCorrectUNIX.txt" Politically Correct UNIX In order for UNIX=AE to survive into the nineties, it must get rid of = its intimidating commands and outmoded jargon, and become compatible with the existing standards of = our day. To this end, our technicians have come up with a new version of UNIX, System VI, for use = by the PC - that is, the "Politically Correct." System VI Release notes=20 Utilities : "man" pages are now called "person" pages.=20 Similarly, "hangman" is now the = "person_executed_by_an_oppressive_regime."=20 To avoid casting aspersions on our feline friends, the "cat" command is = now merely "domestic_quadruped."=20 To date, there has only been a UNIX command for "yes" - reflecting the = male belief that women always mean yes, even when they say no. To address this imbalance, System VI = adds a "no" command, along with a "-f[orce]" option which will crash the entire system if the "no" is = ignored. =20 The bias of the "mail" command is obvious, and it has been replaced by = the more neutral "gendre" command.=20 The "touch" command has been removed from the standard distribution due = to its inappropriate use by high-level managers.=20 "compress" has been replaced by the lightweight "feather" command. Thus, = old information (such as that from Dead White European Males) should be archived via "tar" and = "feather".=20 The "more" command reflects the materialistic philosophy of the Reagan = era. System VI uses the environmentally preferable "less" command. The biodegradable "KleeNeX" displaces the environmentally unfriendly = "LaTeX".=20 Shell Commands: To avoid unpleasant, medieval connotations, the "kill" command has been = renamed "euthanise."=20 The "nice" command was historically used by privileged users to give = themselves priority over unprivileged ones, by telling them to be "nice". In System VI, the "sue" = command is used by unprivileged users to get for themselves the rights enjoyed by = privileged ones.=20 "history" has been completely rewritten, and is now called "herstory." = "quota" can now specify minimum as well as maximum usage, and will be strictly enforced.=20 The "abort()" function is now called "choice()."=20 Terminology: For now on, "rich text" will be more accurately referred to as = "exploitive capitalist text".=20 The term "daemons" is a Judeo-Christian pejorative. Such processes will = now be known as "spiritual guides."=20 There will no longer be an invidious distinction between "dumb" and = "smart" terminals. All terminals are equally valuable.=20 Traditionally, "normal video" (as opposed to "reverse video") was white = on black. This implicitly condoned European colonialism, particularly with respect to people of = African descent. UNIX System VI now uses "regressive video" to refer to white on black, while = "progressive video" can be any color at all over a white background.=20 For far too long, power has been concentrated in the hands of "root" and = his "wheel" oligarchy. We have instituted a dictatorship of the users. All system administration = functions will be handled by the People's Committee for Democratically Organizing the System = (PC-DOS). No longer will it be permissible for files and processes to be "owned" by users. All files = and processes will own themselves, and decide how (or whether) to respond to requests from = users.=20 The X Window System will henceforth be known as the NC-17 Window System. = And finally, UNIX itself will be renamed "PC" - for Procreatively = Challenged.=20 ------=_NextPart_000_002F_01BF172A.804B5870-- To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-newbies" in the body of the message