Date: Sat, 29 Mar 2008 01:15:22 +1000 From: Da Rock <rock_on_the_web@comcen.com.au> To: freebsd-questions@freebsd.org Subject: Re: Permission to publish article Message-ID: <1206717322.4155.41.camel@laptop2.herveybayaustralia.com.au> In-Reply-To: <001601c890df$533220c0$cc01a8c0@hesstravel.local> References: <001601c890df$533220c0$cc01a8c0@hesstravel.local>
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Out of sheer curiosity- is this spam? Is there any reference to the "paint" on FreeBSD? I can't imagine where it would be used... On Fri, 2008-03-28 at 08:23 -0600, Stacy@hesstravel.com wrote: > To Whom It May Concern: > > > > I am executive assistant to Mr. Alan Hess, author of the copyrighted article > "If Airlines Sold Paint" originally published in Travel Weekly in October of > 1998. Since that time, the "Paint" satire has been widely circulated on the > Internet, without any citation of authorship. Mr. Hess is flattered that > you like his work well enough to include it on your website. > > > > When he has been asked for permission to print it in various publications, > including university text books, Mr. Hess has freely given that permission. > If you wish to continue to use the article, please include the following > citation: > > > > Printed with permission. C Alan H. Hess, 1998. All rights reserved. > > > > Thank you, > > > > Stacy Hoeksel > > Assistant to Alan H. Hess > > stacy@hesstravel.com > > > > > > > > The correct text of the satire is as follows: > > > > If airlines sold paint > > > > Buying paint from a hardware store > > Customer: Hi, how much is your paint? > > Clerk: We have regular quality for $12 a gallon and > premium for $18. How many gallons would you like? > > Customer: Five gallons of regular quality, please. > > Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax. > > > > > > Buying paint from an airline > > Customer: Hi, how much is your paint? > > Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends. > > Customer Depends on what? > > Clerk: Well, actually a lot of things. > > Customer: How about just giving me an average price? > > Clerk: Wow, that's just too hard a question. The lowest > price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 prices up to about $200 a gallon. > > Customer: What's the difference in the paint? > > Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same > paint. > > Customer: Well then, I'd like some of that $9 paint. > > Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. > When do you intend to use it? > > Customer: I want to paint tomorrow on my day off. > > Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint. > > Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get the > $9 version? > > Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also > have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue > painting until at least Sunday. > > Customer: You've got to be kidding! > > Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll > have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can > sell it to you. > > Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to > me? You have shelves full of the stuff; I can see it right there. > > Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we > have it. It may be the same paint, but we only sell a certain number of > gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to > $12. > > Customer: What! You mean the price just went up while we were > talking! > > Clerk: Yes sir. You see, we change prices and rules > thousands of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out the > store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want the > same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your > purchase. How many gallons do you want? > > Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I > should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough. > > Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the > paint and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible > confiscation of the paint you already have. > > Customer: What? > > Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do > your kitchen, bathroom, hall, and north bedroom, but if you stop painting > before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs. > > Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all the > paint? I already paid you for it! > > Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's > just the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all > the paint, and when you don't, it just causes us all sorts of problems. > > Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will > happen if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night! > > Clerk: Yes, sir, it will. > > Customer: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere else to buy > my paint. > > Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have the > same rules. Oh, and thanks for flying - I mean painting - with our airline. > > > > C Alan H. Hess, 1998. All rights reserved. > > _______________________________________________ > freebsd-questions@freebsd.org mailing list > http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/listinfo/freebsd-questions > To unsubscribe, send any mail to "freebsd-questions-unsubscribe@freebsd.org" >
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