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Date:      Wed, 13 Jun 2001 14:53:08 -0700 (PDT)
From:      Chern Lee <chern@meow.osd.bsdi.com>
To:        <freebsd-doc@freebsd.org>
Subject:   Style/Grammar/Writing Guidelines
Message-ID:  <Pine.BSF.4.31.0106131439170.43965-100000@meow.osd.bsdi.com>

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Hi:

I'm helping read over the handbook in order to prep it for its next
edition of the printed version.

I feel this applies to not only the printed version, but also the handbook
as a whole, and any other documentation we have.

In reading the first two chapters, I've noticed that a lot of it is very
loosely written--especially the second.  This occurs throughout the
handbook.

Does anyone know of a style/grammar/writing guideline document for the doc
project?

If not, I propose that we come up with one.

An example:

You may need to prepare some floppy disks. These disks will be used to
boot your computer in to the FreeBSD install process. This step is not
necessary if you are installing from CD-ROM, and your computer supports
booting from the CD-ROM. If you do not meet these requirements then you will
need to create some floppies to boot from.
(Ch. 2.2.1)

Would be a lot more formal if written:
The first step to installing FreeBSD is to create the kern and mfsroot
floppy disks.  These disks will be used to boot the computer into the
FreeBSD install process.  This step is not necessary if installing from
the CD-ROM drive, and the computer supports booting from the CD-ROM.  If
the computer does not meet these requirements, then it is necessary to
create these floppies.

Reference to the reader as "you" is informal.  Changing this to "One" or
"The user" sounds very fitting to me.

"Your computer" can be simply stated as "The computer." (not too sure if
this sounds too great).

Simply changing the form of verbs and slightly rewriting a sentence can
fix most instances of "You/Your" as shown above.  Sometimes it can even be
omitted.

Many more writing informalities and signs of loose, casual writing are
apparent through what I have read so far.

This is by no means criticism to the existing writing.  The handbook
just needs a more professional feel to it.  I'm new at technical writing
and am trying to put my high school journlism experience into making the
handbook quality, print-ready material.

Suggestions, please?

- Chern Lee

chern.lee@windriver.com
Wind River Systems, Inc.


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