Date: Fri, 17 Nov 2000 19:22:31 +0000 From: Jason Halbert <res02jw5@gte.net> To: questions@freebsd.org Subject: Re: Fwd: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE Message-ID: <3A158577.7075A201@gte.net> References: <20001116212419.A62405@citusc17.usc.edu> <3A152421.80504@uswest.net>
next in thread | previous in thread | raw e-mail | index | archive | help
Joe Warner wrote: > > >Except Utah, which she does not fancy. > > Ok, just for that, no free tickets to the > 2002 Winter Games for her! > > Joe > > Kris Kennaway wrote: > > > NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE > > > > To the citizens of the United States of America, > > > > In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus > > to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your > > independence, effective today. > > > > Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchicay > > duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except > > Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The > > rt. hon.Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been > > unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a > > minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress > > and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated > > next year to determine whether any of you noticed. > > > > To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following > > rules are introduced with immediate effect: > > > > 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. > > Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be > > amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, > > you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up > > "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with > > filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and > > inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". > > > > 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know > > on your behalf. > > > > 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. > > It really isn't that hard. > > > > 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as > > the good guys. > > > > 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The > > Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want > > you to get confused and give up half way through. > > > > 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one > > kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a > > very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world > > outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays > > "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and > > should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if > > you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you > > brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar > > to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every > > twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We > > are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. > > > > 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons > > if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that > > there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. > > The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for > > "sh*t". > > > > 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new > > national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive > > Day". > > > > 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for > > your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what > > we mean. > > > > 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. > > > > Thank you for your cooperation. > > To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org > with "unsubscribe freebsd-chat" in the body of the message But you gotta admit... she does have a point on a few of those things. I'm an American and I don't like the attitude of Americans. I've been very tempted to go live with my friends in Australia. If only they had DSL. :) -- ------------------------------------------------------- | Jason P. Halbert | res02jw5@gte.net | | Transmitter Maintenance Engineer | ICQ#: 86637300 | | KDAF-TV WB33 | DALnet: Push^Pop | | KDTX-TV 58 | (214) 252-3300 | ------------------------------------------------------- To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-questions" in the body of the message
Want to link to this message? Use this URL: <https://mail-archive.FreeBSD.org/cgi/mid.cgi?3A158577.7075A201>