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Date:      Sat, 30 Oct 2004 21:55:44 +0200
From:      Pawel Worach <pawel.worach@telia.com>
To:        Hiroki Sato <hrs@freebsd.org>
Cc:        doc@freebsd.org
Subject:   Re: cvs commit: src/release/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/errata article.sgml
Message-ID:  <4183F1C0.1000402@telia.com>
In-Reply-To: <20041031.025215.122578228.hrs@eos.ocn.ne.jp>
References:  <200410301725.i9UHP94g070958@repoman.freebsd.org> <20041031.025215.122578228.hrs@eos.ocn.ne.jp>

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Hiroki Sato wrote:

>  I have committed a draft version of the 5.3R errata.  The HTML
>  version of it is found at:
> 
>   http://people.freebsd.org/~hrs/relnotes/5.3R/errata/article.html
> 
>  Please review this and let me know your comments, thanks.
> 

Potential wording corrections?

--- article.sgml.orig   Sat Oct 30 21:27:36 2004
+++ article.sgml        Sat Oct 30 21:53:32 2004
@@ -150,7 +150,7 @@
      <programlisting>block log quick proto { tcp, udp } all user 
root</programlisting>

      <para>To set <varname>debug.mpsafenet</varname> to <literal>0</literal>
-      in every boot time, add the following line into
+      on every boot, add the following line into
        <filename>/boot/loader.conf</filename>:</para>

      <programlisting>debug.mpsafenet=0</programlisting>
@@ -165,13 +165,13 @@
        &man.ipfw.8; and &man.pf.conf.5; manual pages.</para>

      <para>(31 Oct 2004) The &man.vinum.4; subsystem
-      works fine on 5.3, but it can cause a system panic on boot time.
+      works fine on 5.3, but it can cause a system panic at boot time.
        As a workaround you can add <literal>vinum_load="YES"</literal>
        in <filename>/boot/loader.conf</filename>.</para>

-    <para>Instead, you can also use the new, &man.geom.4;-based
+    <para>As an alternative you can use the new, &man.geom.4;-based
        &man.vinum.4; subsystem.  To activate the &man.geom.4;-aware
-      vinum on boot time, the following steps are needed:</para>
+      vinum at boot time, the following steps are needed:</para>

      <itemizedlist>
        <listitem>
@@ -201,11 +201,11 @@
      </itemizedlist>

      <para>While some sort of uncommon configurations such as
-      multiple vinum drivers in a disk are not supported,
+      multiple vinum drives in a disk are not supported,
        it is basically backward compatible.
        Note that for the &man.geom.4;-aware vinum the userland
        control program, <command>gvinum</command> should be used,
-      and this still lacks a few functionality.</para>
+      and it still lacks some functionality.</para>

      <para>(31 Oct 2004) The results of <command>netstat -m</command>
        can become incorrect on an SMP system when 
<varname>debug.mpsafenet</varname>
@@ -217,7 +217,7 @@
        without PS/2 ports using an USB keyboard, the keyboard will stop
        working once the kernel boots.  As a workaround, select
        <quote>Escape to loader prompt</quote> in the boot loader menu
-      and enter the following line to the prompt:</para>
+      and enter the following lines at the prompt:</para>

      <screen>set hint.atkbd.0.flags="0x1"
  boot</screen>

-- 
Pawel



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