Date: Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:20:22 +0000 From: Shagaholic <admin@shagaholic.com> To: doc@freebsd.org Subject: OzzyRebdowt Somebody has left you mail Message-ID: <090000001929.mfk65y.ms9t1b@shagaholic.com>
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ShagaholicThis email has been sent to you as part of your Shagaholic member= ship.Please add admin@shagaholic.com to your contacts list, or mark as safe= to make sure you receive our emails.To unsubscribe or change your email pr= eferences click here .Hi OzzyRebdowt,You have received a new email from mul= li_oi1 ! http://www.shagaholic.com/static/generated/crmCheck your email and= reply now! Hurry up! Nobody likes waiting too long... Remember, messages o= lder than 30 days will be automatically deleted so make sure you check your= mail box in time! Our Support Team will answer payment queries 24/7 by pho= ne 1-800-974-4879 For Technical Support please call between 9am and 5pm. Co= ntact us online and we will respond within 24 hours. Best Regards, Stephani= e Foster , Customer Service Representative Your screenname: OzzyRebdowt You= r password: X6dky0VMManage your email settings here.If you don't want to ge= t this kind of email anymore, click here .We'd hate to see you go, but if y= ou want to unsubscribe to all our emails, you can do that here .(c) 2012 Al= cuda (Shagaholic), Office 22, 6 Tassou Papadopoulou, Nicosia, 2373 =D0=A1yp= rus From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Tue Dec 25 00:20:44 2012 Return-Path: <owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG> Delivered-To: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [69.147.83.52]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 257D5C3E for <freebsd-doc@freebsd.org>; Tue, 25 Dec 2012 00:20:44 +0000 (UTC) (envelope-from freebsd@chthonixia.net) Received: from www5.pairlite.com (www5.pairlite.com [64.130.10.15]) by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id EF2238FC14 for <freebsd-doc@freebsd.org>; Tue, 25 Dec 2012 00:20:43 +0000 (UTC) Received: from whisperer.chthonixia.net (unknown [184.152.30.105]) by www5.pairlite.com (Postfix) with ESMTPSA id 50AC02E2D3 for <freebsd-doc@freebsd.org>; Mon, 24 Dec 2012 19:12:46 -0500 (EST) Date: Mon, 24 Dec 2012 19:13:55 -0500 From: Joe Altman <freebsd@chthonixia.net> To: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Subject: Re: confusing sentence in hardware notes boilerplate Message-ID: <20121225001355.GC16584@whisperer.chthonixia.net> References: <alpine.BSF.2.00.1212242202380.95209@freefall.freebsd.org> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Disposition: inline In-Reply-To: <alpine.BSF.2.00.1212242202380.95209@freefall.freebsd.org> User-Agent: Mutt/1.5.21 (2010-09-15) X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.14 Precedence: list List-Id: Documentation project <freebsd-doc.freebsd.org> List-Unsubscribe: <http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/options/freebsd-doc>, <mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=unsubscribe> List-Archive: <http://lists.freebsd.org/pipermail/freebsd-doc> List-Post: <mailto:freebsd-doc@freebsd.org> List-Help: <mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=help> List-Subscribe: <http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/listinfo/freebsd-doc>, <mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=subscribe> X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 25 Dec 2012 00:20:44 -0000 On Mon, Dec 24, 2012 at 10:08:11PM +0000, Benjamin Kaduk wrote: > I was going over the various release notes documents to do some editing, > and spent entirely too much time trying to understand a sentence at the > top of the hardware notes, which has been there since r172098 by bmah in > 2007. I think that adding a word per below helps the readability, but I > am no longer an impartial reader (having read the sentence too much). > Thoughts? I try to refrain from using the same word more than once, when they are in proximity. To me, adding "supported" as you propose is such. Additionally, the phrase "...known working instances..." seems to re-state the word "supported". OTOH, it could be written: This document lists the supported hardware platforms and devices such as storage controllers, network interfaces, and so on, for &os; &release.current;. ISTM that "...hardware compatibility...", "...hardware platforms supported..." and "...known working instances..." are different ways of saying one thing. So just say it once at the beginning of the sentence. > -Ben > > Index: article.xml > =================================================================== > --- article.xml (revision 244663) > +++ article.xml (working copy) > @@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ g> <para>This document contains the hardware compatibility notes for > &os; &release.current;. It lists the hardware platforms > supported by &os;, as well as the various types of hardware > - devices (storage controllers, network interfaces, and so on), > + devices supported (storage controllers, network interfaces, and so on), > along with known working instances of these devices.</para> > </sect1>
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