Date: Wed, 17 Mar 2004 22:17:03 -0500 From: "Ronny Hippler" <r11roadster@yahoo.com> To: "chat@freebsd.org" <chat@freebsd.org> Subject: Re: Programmer joke... Message-ID: <20040318031720.3A8B343D39@mx1.FreeBSD.org> In-Reply-To: <40589DD1.7050003@daleco.biz>
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-----BEGIN=20PGP=20SIGNED=20MESSAGE----- Hash:=20SHA1 On=20Wed,=2017=20Mar=202004=2012:49:53=20-0600,=20Kevin=20D.=20Kinsey,=20D= aleCo,=20S.P. wrote: >Anyone=20got=20a=20good=20programmer=20joke? oldie=20but=20goodie..... =20=20=20=20=20Programmer's=20Guide=20to=20Shooting=20Yourself=20in=20the=20= Foot. Assembler:=20You=20shoot=20yourself=20in=20the=20foot. Ada:=20The=20Department=20of=20Defense=20shoots=20you=20in=20the=20foot=20= after=20offering you=20a=20blindfold=20and=20last=20cigarette. APL:=20GN=20=ED=20FT=20^=20BLT BASIC=20(Interpreted):=20You=20shoot=20yourslf=20in=20the=20foot=20with=20= a=20water=20pistol until=20your=20leg=20is=20waterlogged=20and=20rots=20off. BASIC=20(Compiled):=20You=20shoot=20yourself=20in=20the=20foot=20with=20a=20= BB=20using=20a=20SCUD missile=20launcher. C++:=20You=20create=20a=20dozen=20instances=20of=20yourself=20and=20shoot=20= them=20all=20in=20the foot.=20Not=20knowing=20which=20feet=20are=20virtual,=20medical=20care=20i= s=20impossible. COBOL:=20USE=20HANDGUN.COLT(45),=20AIM=20AT=20LEG.FOOT,=20THEN=20WITH=20AR= M.HAND.FINGER ON=20HANDGUN.COLT(TRIGGER)=20PERFORM=20SQUEEZE.=20RETURN=20HANDGUN.COLT=20= TO HIP.HOLSTER csh:=20After=20searching=20the=20manual=20until=20your=20foot=20falls=20as= leep,=20you=20shoot the=20computer=20and=20switch=20to=20C. dBase:=20You=20buy=20a=20gun.=20Bullets=20are=20only=20available=20from=20= another=20company and=20are=20promised=20to=20work,=20so=20you=20buy=20them.=20Then=20you=20= find=20out=20that=20the next=20version=20of=20the=20gun=20is=20the=20one=20that=20is=20scheduled=20= to=20actually=20shoot bullets. Fortran:=20You=20shoot=20yourself=20in=20each=20toe,=20iteratively,=20unti= l=20you=20run=20out of=20toes.=20You=20shoot=20the=20sixth=20bullet=20anyway=20since=20no=20ex= ception processing was=20anticipated. Modula-2:=20You=20perform=20a=20shooting=20on=20what=20might=20be=20curren= tly=20a=20foot=20with what=20might=20be=20currently=20a=20bullet=20shot=20by=20what=20might=20cu= rrently=20be=20a=20gun. Pascal:=20Same=20as=20Modula-2=20except=20the=20bullet=20is=20not=20the=20= right=20type=20for the gun=20and=20your=20hand=20is=20blown=20off. PL/1:=20After=20consuming=20all=20system=20resources=20including=20bullets= ,=20the=20data processing=20department=20doubles=20its=20size,=20acquires=202=20new=20mai= nframes=20and drops=20the=20original=20on=20your=20foot. Smalltalk,=20Actor,=20Et=20al.:=20After=20playing=20with=20the=20graphics=20= for=203=20weeks the=20programming=20manager=20shoots=20you=20in=20the=20head. Snobol:=20Grab=20your=20foot=20with=20your=20hand=20and=20rewrite=20your=20= hand=20to=20be=20a bullet. Ronny=20Hippler=20||=20Spartanburg=20SC http://www.vr5.dyndns.org:8008/=20||=20ftp://ftp.vr5.dyndns.org:2112/ For=20PGP=20key=20email=20with=20"PGPKey"=20in=20the=20subject -----BEGIN=20PGP=20SIGNATURE----- Version:=20PGP=20SDK=203.0.2 iQA/AwUBQFkUrzeqiUsaKJ66EQK4bwCg0ZiFvST2KCzDSl17PZBvVJwaeUcAnRLw 79hovCf4Uqg3sjkSxuCeOo6U =3DTfcJ -----END=20PGP=20SIGNATURE-----
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