Date: Wed, 24 Sep 1997 10:12:13 -0700 From: Cy Schubert - ITSD Open Systems Group <cschuber@uumail.gov.bc.ca> To: freebsd-chat@freebsd.org Subject: FW: Funny: MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER Message-ID: <199709241712.KAA02730@passer.osg.gov.bc.ca>
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FWIW...
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Cy Schubert Fax: (250)387-5766
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Cy.Schubert@gems8.gov.bc.ca
"Quit spooling around, JES do it."
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Subject: FW: Funny: MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 1997 10:08:44 -0700
From: Peter Blake <prblake@perch.osg.gov.bc.ca>
New giggle for you folks!
> >
> >>
> >>INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT
> >>
> >>You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to
> >>accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not
> give
> >>anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an
> >>infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others
> smell
> >>and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it
> is.
> >>
> >>If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven.
> Set
> >>the oven using these keystrokes:
> >>
> >><\mstv.dinn.//08.5min50%heat// Then enter:
> >>
> >><ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
> >>
> >>If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven
> will
> >>set itself and cook the dinner.
> >>
> >>If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of
> the
> >>dinner (found on the package label), the weight of the dinner, and
> the
> >>desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate
> the
> >>time and heat and cook the diner exactly to your specification.
> >>
> >>Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your
> oven
> >>must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner
> from
> >>the oven and enter:
> >>
> >> <ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap.
> >>
> >>This process may haveto be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave
> and
> >>then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your
> hardware
> >>vendor. Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too
> big,
> >>larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments,
> most of
> >>which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is
> too
> >>large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your equipment.
> >>Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the
> chicken
> >>variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call
> >>MicrosoftHelp and they will explain that you really don't want
> another
> >>variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.
> >>
> >>Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of
> >>their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger
> >>family
> >>size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved
> >>only in Microsoft approved packaging.
> >>
> >>Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However,
> that
> >>version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get
> thrilled in
> >>advance. Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in
> the
> >>freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature,
> not a
> >>bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.
>
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