Date: Fri, 13 Jun 1997 14:58:00 +0930 (CST) From: michael smith <mike@smith.net.au> To: matt@portal.net.au, chat@freebsd.org Subject: FW: cryptography and lingerie Message-ID: <XFMail.970613145822.mike@smith.net.au> Resent-Message-ID: <v03102817afc63a027e1f@seven-utes.matchlogic.com>
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X-RDate: Fri, 13 Jun 1997 13:44:01 +0930 (CST)
Message-Id: <v03102817afc63a027e1f@seven-utes.matchlogic.com>
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Date: Thu, 12 Jun 1997 17:48:20 -0600
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From: Richard Johnson <rjj@medialab.com>
To: hellfire@hardy.math.okstate.edu
Subject: cryptography and lingerie
Forwarded-by: Mark Matossian <markm@teledesic.com>
Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic[SMTP:bostic@bostic.com]
Forwarded-by: spaf@cs.purdue.edu (Gene "Chief Yuckster" Spafford)
Forwarded-by: swlodin@delcoelect.com (Steve Lodin)
------ Forwarded Article <5k3ap1$ptj$1@gannett.math.niu.edu>
------ From caj@moriarty.math.niu.edu (Xcott Craver)
Michael Strelitz <mstrelitz@cix.compulink.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> But not every bra has a cryptographic function. Most are used for ASCII
>> armor or for compression. Some are even designed to make the plaintext
>> stand out and more enjoyable to read.
>
> Touche, but I believe what we have here is a clear case of steganography.
Yikes. I think that we should hammer down some definitions before
this whole thing gets out of hand.
Cryptography:
Building an difficult-to-unhook bra.
Steganography:
Building a flesh-colored bra, or one whose unhook mechanism is
hidden somewhere unexpected (Man: "How the Hell...?" Woman:
"It unhooks in front." Man: "Damn those steganographers.")
Public-Key Cryptography:
Building a bra that anyone can put on, but that only Alice can
remove.
Watermarking:
Building a bra that stays on even after smoothing, compression,
and rotation. Also, Bob should not be able to put his own bra
on over Alice's and claim ownership of her body.
Fingerprinting:
Um, I'm probably already in trouble for the last one, so I'll
just skip this.
Signatures:
Building a bra with a nametag ("Property of Alice, machine wash
warm...") such that bras with Alice's name only fit Alice's body.
Bob could in theory remove Alice's bra and replace it with his
own, but there's no real reason for him to do so.
All-or-Nothing Disclosure Of Secrets:
Alice transforms her bra into a duffle bag, and either (a) shows
Bob how to open it, or (b) shows Bob how she made it into a duffle
bag. Alice repeats the procedure until Bob is satisfied (perverted
freak).
One-time Pad:
Kleenex.
NSA: An organization that wants women to go back to wearing corsets and
chastity belts. Oh, and Bill Clinton gets to keep all the keys.
[looks up at what's written so far and sighs] I'm so damned juvenile.
I'm going to go do something more constructive and serious. Well, happy
Monday.
-Caj
[**!!Oh, and these are not the views of my employer!!**]
--
Anna Croft PhD student Amino Acid Research
Research School of Chemistry R Supervisor : Dr C J Easton
ANU Canberra ACT Australia H2N-|-COOH Radical reactions
email : acroft@rsc.anu.edu.au H "Good things, when short, are
http://rsc.anu.edu.au/~acroft twice as good."- Baltasar Gracian
--------------End of forwarded message-------------------------
--
Mike Smith Unix hardware collector http://www.smith.net.au/~mike
The question "why are the fundamental laws of nature mathematical"
invites the trivial response "because we define as fundamental those
laws which are mathematical". Paul Davies, _The_Mind_of_God_
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