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Date:      Fri, 27 Dec 2013 04:53:48 +0100
From:      dt71@gmx.com
To:        freebsd-doc@freebsd.org
Subject:   release notes nitpicks
Message-ID:  <52BCF9CC.9070209@gmx.com>

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Quick, someone process these proposed documentation fixes before the release.


========== nitpicks for http://www.freebsd.org/relnotes/CURRENT/relnotes/article.html ==========

"GENERIC"
this word is green-colored in exactly 1 of many cases

"accessible with RDRAND instruction"
add a "the"

"these setup instructions and quick start guide"
add a "this"

"refer to: FreeBSD and Microsoft Windows Server Hyper-V support for full instructions"
drop the ":"

"See this announcement for"
the hyperlink is anchored (partially) to the "this" word, which is bad practice; place the anchor only on "announcement", perhaps even say "ARM support announcement"

"See this page for"
likewise, use "See the <a ...>ARM Superpages status</a> page for"

"A new gptboot boot loader"
now "gptboot" could do with some styling (green?)

"gpt(8)"
what is gpt (there is no such man page)?

"now supports Colemak keyboard layout"
add a "the"

"as supplied by Linux version 3.7"
add a "."

"multi-cpu"
fix the capitalization

"machines resulting"
add a ","

"as well as format of"
add a "the"

"submitted to devd(8) has changed"
drop the "has changed" part (as is, this is repetitive wording)

"nvmexpress.org"
this currently links to the non-existent "http://http//www.nvmexpress.org/"

"initiator has been added"
add a "."

"all fusefs file systems"
add a "."

"the high performance LZ4"
I'd write "high-performance"

"default compression algorithm"
add a "."

"the checksum (cryptographically secure) of"
move "checksum" to after the parenthesized text

"only works only"
drop one of the "only"s

paragraphs "The zio nop-write ..." and "ZFS will now compare ..."
these describe basically the same thing, repeatedly

"compiler, (such as i386, amd64, arm) GCC"
move the "," to after the parenthesized text

"refer to Clang 3.3 Release Notes."
do not make the hyperlink anchor extend to the "."

"dns"
fix the capitalization

"flex 2.5.37"
add a "."

""Portable""
use English quotes, not ASCII ones

"libarchive"
this word is green-colored and monospaced, which is not consistent with the non-coloring and non-monospacing of "libdisk", etc.

"gcpio"
likewise, this word is green-colored, which is not consistent with non-coloring of command names

"now support HTTP 1.1"
that should be "now supports the HTTP 1.1"

""emacs""
use English quotes, not ASCII ones

"an -S flag"
use "a" instead of "an", as everywhere else

"64 bit architectures"
I'd use "64-bit"

"2.3.1. /etc/rc.d Scripts"
this section is empty

"See this link. for"
(1) drop the full stop
(2) (likewise) use something like "See the <a ...>jemalloc status</a> page for"

section "2.4. Contributed Software"
in this, some names are semi-consistently bolded

"from 1 May 2007 release"
add a "the"

"available from ports"
(1) add a "the"
(2) add a "."

"FreeBSD source"
how about "FreeBSD source trees"

"updated from to"
either drop the "from" or add the earlier version

"/etc/localtime"
now this could be green-colored

"wide character locales"
perhaps "wide-character locales"?

"also referred to as "pkgng""
(1) this has been debated: pkg vs Pkg vs PKG vs pkgng vs Pkgng vs PkgNG vs PKGNG vs PKGng vs pkg ng vs Pkg Ng vs Pkg NG vs PKG NG vs PKG ng
(2) use English quotes, not ASCII ones

"2.7. Documentation"
this section is empty


========== nitpicks http://www.freebsd.org/relnotes/CURRENT/readme/article.html ==========

"Versions for the ARM® (arm), MIPS® (mips), and PowerPC® (powerpc) architectures are currently under development as well."
is this stated well for recent times?

"including full source code for the kernel"
orly, what is WITHOUT_SOURCELESS=1 for?

"from the installation program"
recommendation: "using the package manager"

"CDROM" (multiple occurrences)
that should be "CD-ROM"

"precompiled" vs "pre-compiled"
choose one

"—" (the Unicode em dash) (multiple occurrences)
put spaces around the "—"

"If you have slow or expensive mail access"
then you have been ripped off

"FreeBSD developers will do their best to respond to all reported bugs as soon as possible"
more like: "if you have an infinite amount of patience, then you can wait for a FreeBSD developer to respond to your bug report"

"This file"
how about "This document"?

"located at ../../../../releases/"
(1) the amount of backsteps exceeds the depth of the current directory (/relnotes/CURRENT/readme/article.html), ie., "../../../releases/" is sufficient
(2) why not "/releases/"

"on-line manual"
drop the "on-line" part


========== nitpicks for http://www.freebsd.org/relnotes/CURRENT/hardware/article.html ==========

""" (multiple occurrences)
use English quotes, not ASCII ones



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