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Date:      Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:45:05 -0500
From:      John Baldwin <jhb@freebsd.org>
To:        Doug Barton <dougb@freebsd.org>
Cc:        freebsd-doc@freebsd.org, Jonathan Vasquez <jvasquez1011@gmail.com>
Subject:   Re: Confusing sentence
Message-ID:  <201002190845.05965.jhb@freebsd.org>
In-Reply-To: <4B7E3A6E.3070806@FreeBSD.org>
References:  <c2e360c71002141112u59a62e6p7984152701a8722@mail.gmail.com> <201002171356.37409.jhb@freebsd.org> <4B7E3A6E.3070806@FreeBSD.org>

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On Friday 19 February 2010 2:14:54 am Doug Barton wrote:
> On 02/17/10 10:56, John Baldwin wrote:
> > On Sunday 14 February 2010 2:12:15 pm Jonathan Vasquez wrote:
> >> URL:
> >> http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/version-guide/past-schedules.html
> >>
> >> <http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/version-guide/past-schedules.html>SENTENCE:
> >> "These considerations, rather than any kind of keeping up with the major
> >> release number of any other OS, comprise the main motivation for the
> >> scheduling changes going forward."
> >>
> >> IMPROVED: "Taking the above into consideration, we have learned that it's
> >> better to not rush development because another OS released a major version."
> > 
> > The wording could definitely use improvement, but I don't think the new
> > sentence has the same meaning.  It is more like "we are speeding up the
> > frequency of releases, but for reasons X, Y, and Z; not to keep with other OS
> > version numbers."
> > 
> > Perhaps just splitting it up into two sentence so it is less of a mouthful:
> > 
> >   These considerations are the motivation for the scheduling changes going
> >   forward.  The schedule is not being changed to "keep pace" with other OS
> >   versions.
> 
> IMO better not to mention others at all. I would just nuke the whole
> last sentence.

That is fine with me, too.

-- 
John Baldwin



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