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Date:      Wed, 25 Dec 2002 08:30:20 -0700 (MST)
From:      Warren Block <wblock@wonkity.com>
To:        Mario Sergio Fujikawa Ferreira <lioux@FreeBSD.ORG>
Cc:        Ceri Davies <setantae@submonkey.net>, Tom Hukins <tom@FreeBSD.ORG>, steve@FreeBSD.ORG, "Gary W. Swearingen" <swear@attbi.com>, FreeBSD-doc@FreeBSD.ORG
Subject:   Re: Review change on committer's handbook
Message-ID:  <Pine.BSF.4.21.0212250755560.77977-100000@wonkity.com>
In-Reply-To: <20021224180948.4521.qmail@exxodus.fedaykin.here>

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On Tue, 24 Dec 2002, Mario Sergio Fujikawa Ferreira wrote:

> "First, send mail to &a.portmgr; with the repo copy request listing
> the reasons for it.  Next, if &a.portmgr; approves it, &a.cvs; will
> do a repository copy from the old location/name to the new
> location/name.  You will then receive a notice, at which point you
> are expected to perform the following:"

Hmm.  I'd suggest:

"Email &a.portmgr; listing the reasons for this <quote>repo copy</quote>
request. If &a.portmgr; approves the request, &a.cvs; will
<emphasis>repository copy</emphasis> the port to the new location and
name. When you receive email notification of the repo copy, you are
expected to perform these steps:"

Notes:
Rewritten to avoid the use of "it", which readers often find confusing.

Changed "Send mail" to "Email". Added quotes to the first "repo copy",
since it's a term. <emphasis> might be more appropriate, dunno.

Added emphasis around "repository copy".

Eliminated redundant old/new location.

Rewrote last two sentences, although I think they could be better
yet.

Changed "perform the following" to "perform these steps".  It seems
better not to refer to a procedure by its location.

-Warren Block * Rapid City, South Dakota USA


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